


under your bed in new york.

by meredithflynn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chef Harry, Exes, Exes to Lovers, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Lawyer Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson-centric, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Break Up, and a puppy! - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26628460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meredithflynn/pseuds/meredithflynn
Summary: au; a hangover, a cup of coffee, and bumping into an ex might be all louis needs to find love again
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 92





	under your bed in new york.

**Author's Note:**

> here is my take on the classic breakup fic™ and also a take on something more mature/serious. it's still a little fluffy though! i hope you enjoy this :) let me know what you think!

_i tried for you  
_ _tried to see through all the smoke and dirt  
_ _it wouldn't move  
_ _what could i do?  
_ _\- celeste_

*****

It was 11:42pm when Louis had had enough.

He'd had enough of dealing with a drunkard boyfriend, he'd had enough of all the fighting, he'd had enough of trying to convince himself that as long as he loved Harry, everything would be okay.

He'd had enough of it all.

He stormed into their bedroom and grabbed his valuables, scanning the room to try to figure out what was important to him and what's wasn't. It took less than twenty minutes to haphazardly throw together a bag filled with his most important possessions, along with a few of his favorite items of clothing. There wasn't enough space in his bag to hold all of his belongings, and it would take hours to figure out what belonged to him and what belonged to Harry, a stinging reminder of how much his and Harry's lives had morphed together, and how Louis was about to leave it all.

He was leaving behind so many of his clothes and books, but Louis couldn't bring himself to care. He could come back later to get them back, or he could send one of his friends over to get them back, or maybe Harry could mail them back to him. Or maybe Harry wouldn't. Louis honestly didn't care at this point.

He hoped he had enough money in his wallet to pay for a cab and some food, and maybe a new jacket. His old one had holes in it and wasn't very good at blocking out the cold - he'd been meaning to go to the mall with Harry that weekend to get himself a new jacket, but he'd have to go by himself now. To compensate for the crappy jacket, he threw on as many warm clothes as he could.

As Louis slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for the front door, trying not to step on the ceramic shards that lay on the floor, Harry didn't try to stop him. Maybe he'd been expecting Louis to leave, maybe he didn't care that Louis was leaving, or maybe he was too drunk off his ass to notice what Louis was doing. Louis laughed a little at his own idiocy. He had hoped that maybe at the very end, Harry would change his ways and revert back to the sweet, caring lover he'd been at the beginning. But he was just sitting on the couch where Louis had left him, staring at the television blankly, not even sparing Louis a glance, a far cry from the boy Louis used to know.

It was 12:01am when Louis left.

He scoffed at the symbolicalness of the situation. Here he was leaving his home and the love of his life at the brink of a new day, off to embark on a new stage of his life. It was the kind of thing Harry would have tried to commemorate by snapping dozens of pictures with his camera. And after he had taken the photos, he would have shown it to Louis and Louis would have gushed about his boyfriend's photographic talent and tell Harry how much he loved him.

Louis forced the thought of Harry and his photos out of his mind, and stepped towards the road, teeth chattering as he tried to hail a cab. The cabbie didn't question his overstuffed bag and his odd outfit, and neither did Louis' mother when she answered the door dressed hastily in a purple dressing gown with sleep-ridden eyes. Jay didn't question anything at all, simply giving Louis a hug and letting him in, offering to make him a cup of tea and nodding understandably when Louis refused. She turned on the heater in his room and went back to bed, leaving Louis in the state that he desperately needed to be - alone.

And there, curled up in his childhood room, Louis finally let the dam break. Hot tears flowed silently down his flushed cheeks, and were wiped away by cold, mittened hands. 

He'd always consider Harry the love of his life, but Louis had once considered Harry to be his future. Someone to be engaged to. Someone to marry. Someone to grow old with. Louis had once considered those things as not just a possibility, but something he was sure about, and he knew Harry had been sure about it too. During all of the turbulent times in Louis' life, when he'd navigated leaving his family, not being able to afford rent, and being jobless for his first few months after graduating, Harry had been the one sure thing in his life. He'd been Louis' rock, always there for Louis to lean on, always there for Louis to rant to, always there for Louis to cry on when things got too much. He was the person Louis could always depend on, the one that Louis whispered his secrets and fears to at night.

And then the drinking started.

Louis didn't really notice it at first. And if he did, he didn't really care. Drinking was normal. He and all of his friends did it, so what was wrong with Harry drinking too? Granted, Harry had always shied away from alcohol before, but Louis just took it as Harry finally getting over his dislike of drinking and realizing that getting drunk once in a while wasn't the worst thing in the world. Then Louis heard from Niall that Harry was facing a lot of pressure at the restaurant where he worked, _The Lonely Fish_ , after a famous critic had given them a bad review, so Louis understood that Harry was turning to alcohol as a catharsis.

But the drinking got worse. Harry was spending nearly every single night at the bar, getting drunk with the boys, and staggering home at ungodly hours in the morning. When Louis expressed his worry for Harry's health, Harry snapped at him, and the fighting began. They'd have screaming matches every time Harry would come home drunk, and Louis was called every name imaginable and every part of him was called out and insulted. It wasn't a one-sided fight, though - Harry's words set off Louis' fiery temper and he screamed back just as many insults as Harry would throw at him. The fighting even continued when Harry was sober, and it was getting too much for Louis to take. Not only was the fighting horrible, but Louis loved Harry too much to watch Harry destroy himself with drinking.

Before Louis had left, they'd gotten into another fight. Louis had begged Harry not to go drinking that night, and stay home so they could talk. But Harry had gone anyway and when he'd come back stumbling his steps, one muttered comment from Louis had set him off and they had one of their worst fights, culminating in Harry smashing a vase and Louis screaming, "I hate you! I've had enough! I'm leaving!"

It was 12:38am when Louis finally let the sadness take over, but he'd already forgotten what it felt like to be happy for a long time.

*****

It was 11:27am when Louis was shaken awake by a blonde.

Louis still missed the gentle, romantic ways Harry used to wake him up. He used to wake up to kisses, cuddles, and compliments, and now Louis woke up to Niall shaking him violently and shouting, "Wake up, Lou!" in his ear.

"Go away, Niall," Louis groaned, trying to swat Niall's hands away.

"Come on! We're supposed to meet Zayn and Liam in half an hour and we're going to be late all because of you."

Louis was really starting to regret giving Niall a key to his apartment. Originally, he'd done it so that he didn't have to get up and unlock the door for Niall whenever he came over, but now the Irishman was seriously abusing the use of the key and barging in on Louis whenever he wanted to.

"What time is it?" Louis' voice was a little croaky from just waking up and he cleared his throat a little.

"It's almost 11:30 and we're supposed to get there at twelve," Niall said. "We're going to be late, so you need to get up _now_ \- oh, hi Milky!" Niall bent down to pick up the little Corgi puppy who was pawing at his ankles and whining. "Here, maybe you'll be able to wake Louis up." Niall held the little puppy over Louis, and Milky got to work licking her owner's face, who giggled at the ticklish feeling of Milky's tongue.

"Alright, I'm up, I'm up." Louis sat up and took his puppy from Niall, scratching behind her ears. "Milky, you little traitor, I can't believe you're helping Niall instead of helping me chase him out of my apartment." Milky simply barked happily in response, and promptly tried to lick Louis' fingers.

"Lou, come _on_." Niall tapped his foot impatiently. 

"Yeah, okay." Louis got out of bed and handed Milky to Niall. "Feed Milky for me, will you? Her kibble's in the cupboard above the sink."

Louis was ready to go in record time, having slept in so many times in his life that he was an expert at getting ready quickly. He gave Milky a few cuddles, kisses, and a promise to be back in a few hours before he and Niall left the apartment building and got into Louis' car. Liam and Zayn lived in another part of town, closer to where Louis used to live with Harry, but they were only twenty minutes away, and Louis and Niall were only fifteen minutes late when they met Liam and Zayn.

"You guys are late." Liam had a hint of disappointment in his tone.

"Only by a little. Sorry about that, Payno." Louis ran a hand through his hair and tried to flatten the cowlick at the back of his head.

Liam had known Louis for years and was used to his antics by now. "Come on, there's a new Italian restaurant near our building and I want to try it out."

Liam led them to said restaurant, and almost as soon as they were seated, Louis spotted a familiar face at the table next to them. "No way. Jamie?"

The familiar face turned to him and split into a wide grin. "Louis!"

Jamie had been Louis' colleague, but he'd received a promotion and moved to another city four years ago. "It's been so long! What are you doing here?" Louis hadn't seen Jamie in ages and couldn't help smiling.

"I'm back in town for a few days for work," Jamie explained. "Fancy seeing you here! How's life? Have you and Harry gotten married yet?"

Louis froze, smile melting off his lips. All of his friends' heads whipped around to shoot him worried glances, trying to gauge Louis' reaction.

It had been about three years since Louis left Harry, and the pain was a little easier to bear. A month after he'd left, Harry had indeed sent back all of Louis' things - he'd probably gotten Louis' location from Zayn - and Louis had pretended that he didn't notice a few of his oversized sweaters were missing. He'd lived at his childhood house with his family for a few months while he tried to figure out how to live without Harry. He'd done it for twenty years before he'd met the green-eyed boy, but after living with Harry for three years, Louis had forgotten how to live without him. 

He couldn't bear the idea of seeing Harry in the streets or at the grocery store, so instead, he'd bought an apartment in another part of town. His new place was closer to his family, an obvious bonus, although he needed to drive further to get to work, and all of his friends were a little further away than they used to. Being one of the top lawyers at a well-known law firm had its perks, though - Louis' new apartment was fancy and spacey, and he got to go through the fun of decorating his home again. A year later, after Niall's roommate moved away and Niall wanted a change of scenery, he'd moved to a building almost next door to Louis' and Louis felt less alone again.

The first year after the breakup, Louis kept going onto Harry's Facebook and Instagram to see what he was up to, stalking Harry all over the Internet, although Harry was never active so there really wasn't anything to find. Now, Louis didn't stalk Harry on the Internet anymore, nor did it take a lot of willpower to stop him from checking Harry's Instagram - but Louis did find himself wondering about Harry. Did Harry still live in their apartment? Did Harry still work at _The Lonely Fish_? Had Harry managed to solve his drinking problem?

Louis knew that if he wanted to find the answers, he could simply ask Niall, Zayn or Liam. He knew his friends still hung out with Harry, and he didn't care - they were Harry's friends just as much as they were his. He knew they still ran in the same circles of friends - after all, Louis had spent most of his adult life with Harry and all of his friends were Harry's friends. But even after three years, they tiptoed around the topic of Harry so carefully, even casting Louis worried glances when they mentioned anything related to someone or something named Harry, so much so that Louis didn't know anything about how Harry was doing. Louis also knew they were extremely careful to make sure he and Harry didn't show up at the same party, so Louis hadn't even seen Harry since the breakup. He wanted to tell his friends that he'd gotten over Harry and they could mention his name in front of him, but was Louis really ready to hear Harry's name constantly in their conversations?

Besides, Louis was worried they would think he was pathetic if he asked about Harry. Three years, and he still cared about his ex - although it wasn't like Niall, Zayn and Liam didn't know. So Louis never asked about him and they never told him anything. Louis could only imagine what Harry was doing now - he hoped Harry had stopped drinking, or at least gained control over it. He hoped Harry had been able to prove that critic wrong, and that _The Lonely Fish_ was still successful. He hoped Harry was happy.

"Uh, me and Harry aren't together anymore," Louis said quietly, eyes not meeting Jamie's.

"Oh. Sorry to hear that." Jamie looked embarrassed for asking the question and quickly tried to change the subject. "Um, how's work? Did they finally fix the heating in your office?"

Louis' laugh was a little strained. "Yeah, of course. I actually moved to a new office a year or two ago. Did you know that Allie and Jack had twins? Allie brings them to work sometimes and they're the cutest little munchkins."

Their conversation drifted to lighter topics for a few minutes before Jamie left, saying he had an important meeting and that he'd love to meet up with Louis for drinks before he went back to his city.

"Work friend?" Niall asked as soon as Jamie disappeared out of the door.

"Uh, yeah." Louis took the menu that Zayn pushed towards him. "He moved four years ago, we kinda lost touch after that but I still have his number."

"I think I remember seeing him around once or twice," Zayn said. "He's the guy who got promoted?"

"Mhmm." Louis scanned the menu and glanced up at his friends. "Have you guys chosen your meals?"

"Yep." Liam nodded. "Just waiting for you."

They ordered their lunches and chatted idly as they ate. The food was delicious and Louis was just a little jealous that the restaurant was close to Zayn and Liam, and not him.

"By the way, I'm going to have a part next Friday night at my flat," Niall said through a mouthful of pasta.

"Next Friday? What for?" Louis slipped out his phone to check his calendar.

Niall shrugged. "I just want to host a party with all our friends. It's been ages since we had one. You guys are coming, right?"

"Uh... sorry, Ni, I don't think I'm free next Friday night." Louis put his phone back into his pocket. "I've got a meeting, don't think I'll be able to make the party."

"Aw, man." Niall pouted. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"We can come," Liam piped up. "We'll help you set up the party if you want us, Niall."

"I didn't say I'd help out." Zayn whacked Liam over the head. "Stop speaking for both of us all the time, Li."

"Well, are you going to help out?" Louis watched the couple with amused eyes, but it reminded him so much of what he and Harry used to be like, and it hurt a little to see their smiles.

"If Niall needs my help, I'll help," Zayn said.

"Then what was that for?" Liam rubbed the back of his head sorely. "You were going to help out anyway."

"Sorry, babe." Zayn grinned and pecked Liam's cheek. 

Liam was about to kiss Zayn when Niall made a loud retching sound. "Gross. You guys know me and Lou are still here, right?"

Louis smirked. "Ni's right. Keep all of that coupley shenanigans for when you guys are alone."

"Speaking of couples..." Niall drummed his fingers on the table. "Louis, there's this guy I think you'd really like."

"Another one?" Louis couldn't help the bored tone in his voice.

"Louis, c'mon, give him a chance. He's really nice and sweet, I promise you'll like him. Please go on a date with him?"

Louis sighed. A year and a half ago, when Niall, Liam and Zayn had deemed it time for Louis to start dating around again, they'd continuously set Louis up on dates. Louis refused at first, but they begged so much that Louis relented and went on several dates. All of his dates had been sweet, funny, and handsome, and Louis enjoyed their company, but he couldn't bring himself to be any more than a friend to them. Even after three years, and even though Louis thought maybe he and Harry weren't meant to be, he still considered Harry the love of his life, and he didn't connect to anyone like he had connected to Harry. He'd never gone on a second date with any of his dates, always calling them afterward and saying he didn't think it was going to go anywhere. Louis didn't think he could lead someone on while he still wasn't over Harry.

"You say that for all of the guys you ask me to go on a date with," Louis said, sipping his wine. 

"And you _do_ like them! You just don't fall in love with them," Liam jumped in. 

"And I'm probably not going to fall in love with this new guy." Louis finished his pasta and set his fork down.

"You might. You never know," Zayn said. "Lou, it's just one date. Please?"

Louis huffed. "Fine." 

"Great." Niall clapped his hand triumphantly. "I'll give you his number and you guys can figure everything out."

Louis knew that this date wouldn't do anything for him, and that he'd only end up having one dinner and never going on the second date. But there was still a little bit of hope inside him that thought that just maybe, this time would be different. He'd connect with this guy more than he had with Harry. He'd fall in love, and he'd finally be able to move on and forget about Harry.

When lunch with the boys was over, Louis drove back home with Niall in tow and dropped Niall off before he finally got home. Milky greeted him at the door, barking and yipping excitedly. She'd somehow pulled one of Louis' sweaters from his closet and had been presumably snuggled up with it before Louis had returned, as the sweater was laying on the floor next to Milky.

"Milky, you naughty, naughty puppy." Louis toed his shoes off and picked the Corgi up. "How did you even get into my closet?" Milky sneezed and tilted her head cutely, looking so innocent and adorable that Louis cooed and pressed a kiss between her ears. He picked up his sweater from the floor, examining it for holes and sighing in relief when there wasn't any damage, then tossing it into his basket of dirty laundry.

He then set Milky down on the floor again and went into his room to fetch Milky's leash. He'd only just gotten home, but it was time for Milky's walk, so she'd be able to work off some of that energy and be a little calmer when Louis spent the rest of the afternoon working. "Come on, Milky, let's go for walkies!"

*****

The next day, it was 1:40pm when Niall texted Louis to remind him to set up the date.

Louis had gone on so many dates with random people Niall, Liam and Zayn thought were suitable, and now he practically had a routine for what to do. This time, Niall had recommended a friend called Lucas, and Louis was at work when he copy and pasted his go-to text message and sent it to Lucas. Maybe it was bad he treated each of his dates exactly the same, but it wasn't like anything was going to go anywhere... right? Louis was just doing this to please his friends, meet some new people, and have an excuse to go to a fancy restaurant for a night and have some nice food.

He didn't even know if he had time for a boyfriend. Even when he was dating Harry, it was a bit of a struggle to find time for each other as they were both busy with their careers. The two had each made several sacrifices career-wise to be able to spend time together, but ever since Louis was single, he hadn't needed to make those sacrifices anymore and he'd thrown himself head-on into his work. Sure, he could make those sacrifices again, but Louis loved his work and he wasn't sure if he'd find anyone worthy enough to sacrifice for. Someone like Harry.

His secretary, Danielle, poked her head into his office. "Louis?"

"Hey, Dani."

"I've got those files you wanted." She opened the door and set a few files down onto Louis' desk. "Here you go."

"Thanks, love."

"How's the case coming along?" Danielle had been Louis' secretary for years, and they'd developed a close friendship, with Danielle even being good friends with the boys.

"It's coming along fine. It's pretty open-and-shut, I just wanted to check a few things," Louis said.

Danielle had moved behind Louis' chair to see what he was doing on his computer, but her eyes drifted over to his phone lying next to him, which he'd forgotten to turn off after he'd texted Lucas. "You're going on a date?"

Louis followed her eyes to his phone and quickly shut his phone off. "Stop looking at my phone, you creep."

"Sorry, boss." Danielle didn't look sorry at all. "Who's Lucas? Do I know him?"

"Probably not. He's one of Niall's friends."

"Is this another one of their attempts to get you dating again?"

"Apparently so."

"Hmmm." 

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. "Dani?"

"Yeah?"

"Do... do you think it's weird I haven't dated for three years?" Louis' voice was small. 

"No, not really," Danielle said matter-of-factly. 

"But, it's like - it's like I haven't gotten over Harry yet," Louis mumbled, voice suddenly getting quiet when he said Harry's name.

"Lou, look." Danielle moved so she was standing in front of Louis again. "You really loved him and maybe you're just not ready to let him go. There isn't any rule for how long it takes for you to get over someone. At least you go on dates, right? It's not your fault you don't connect with any of them."

"That's because I don't _let_ them." Louis stared down at his lap. "Every time - every time they get too flirty or intimate, I shoot them down. I keep them at an arm's length the entire time. I don't let them get closer, you know? All of my dates were really sweet, but I was so cold and messed up my dates on purpose. It's my fault. They... they just weren't Harry. I mean, me and Harry broke up for a reason, but they just weren't _him_ , you know?"

"Oh, Lou." Danielle bent down to give Louis a hug. "Maybe you're just not ready yet. Maybe you shouldn't be forcing yourself to go on dates."

" _I'm_ not forcing myself to go. The boys are. I just go to please them."

"I'll talk to them and tell them to -"

"No, no, don't," Louis interrupted. "They're worried about me, and for good reason. I need to move on."

"How about this? How about you try to relax and open up on the date with this Lucas guy? Let him get closer. Don't do anything you don't want to, obviously, but maybe try not pushing him away when he gets a little flirty," Danielle suggested.

Louis bit his lip. "Maybe."

"Stop worrying about it so much. If something's meant to be, it'll be. Just relax, Lou." Danielle started heading towards the door. "All that matters is that you're happy."

"Yeah, okay." Was Louis really happy, though? It wasn't like he was _miserable_ without Harry. He had a successful career, good friends, and the cutest little puppy. But... well. There was still a Harry-sized hole in his heart that Louis wasn't sure anyone could fill. "Thanks. Bye, Dani."

"See you later, boss."

*****

It was 7:05pm when Louis was starting to get nervous about his date.

It wasn't anything crazy - just the normal jitters. He'd texted Lucas a little, and he seemed like a nice guy, which just raised the stakes even higher. He fixed his hair self-consciously in the mirror, and Niall slapped his hand away. "Stop it, you'll ruin your hair if you touch it too much. You look fine."

"What was that for?" Louis pouted. "I don't even know why you're in my apartment right now."

"I'm helping you get ready for your date with Lucas, duh." Niall dragged Louis out of the bathroom so he'd stop worrying and fussing in the mirror. "Lucas is really nice, so I'm invested in this. I want it to go well."

"It's just dinner, Ni. Nothing's going to go wrong."

"I know."

Louis squinted at Niall suspiciously and bent down to give Milky a few scratches when the puppy pawed at his ankles. "You're going to help me puppy-sit Milky, right?"

"Of course. We're going to have a lot of fun, aren't we, babe?"

"Don't give her too many treats," Louis warned. "Don't give in to her cute little face."

"I'll try my best." Niall slapped his thighs. "C'mere, Milky. I worked hard on choosing Louis' outfit and I refuse to let you ruin it."

"Milky doesn't ruin outfits," Louis said, getting offended on behalf of his puppy.

"Yeah, well, I'm not risking her chewing on your clothes or drooling on them." Milky waddled towards Niall and he picked her up, stroking her fur. "It's almost time for your date, you should probably get going. Where are you guys meeting?"

"We're meeting at the restaurant." Louis picked up his jacket from where it was laying on a chair. "Yeah, I should probably go. Take care of Milky! If you're going to go back to your own apartment, remember to lock my door when you leave."

"Of course, of course. Don't worry about it." Niall took Milky's paw and helped her wave goodbye to Louis. "Have fun!"

"Bye, Ni. Bye, Milky. Be a good girl for Niall, yeah?"

"She will. She's the bestest pupper in the whole world." Niall cuddled the puppy close. "See you later, Lou."

Louis left his apartment and headed down to the parking lot, humming quietly to himself. Danielle's suggestion echoed in his mind, increasing his jitters. He could do this, right? It was just a date. He could open up a little. He could allow a little bit of flirting without becoming cold to Lucas. He could accept the idea of loving someone that wasn't Harry.

When Louis pulled up outside the restaurant, he parked his car and sat there for a few minutes. He was a little early, so he had time to just sit and prepare himself for the date. He tapped his fingers against the dashboard, trying to get rid of all of his nervous energy before the date started.

Niall had sent him a picture of Lucas, and when Louis got out of his car, he pulled the picture up on his phone and scanned the perimeter of the restaurant, trying to find his date. He was still squinting at the people passing by him when he was approached by a sandy-haired, blue-eyed man. 

"Hey, um, are you Louis?"

Louis whipped around to face the stranger. "Yeah. And you're Lucas, I presume?"

"Mhmm." Lucas grinned. "That's me. Come on, let's go inside. I'm starving."

The two were led to their table by a waiter, Lucas' hand on the small of Louis' back as they walked. Louis immediately felt slightly uncomfortable with the intimacy, body becoming rigid as he debated his next move. He wanted to push Lucas' hand away, or walk further away from him, and he almost did before he remembered what Danielle had said about opening up to his next date and not pushing him away. _It's just one hand on your back_ , he told himself. _It's perfectly okay._

They reached their table, and Lucas pulled out Louis' chair for him. Louis sat down and mustered a weak smile, thanking Lucas as Lucas himself sat down.

The waiter handed them each a menu. "Here is the menu. Would you two like anything to drink first?"

"Um, I'll just have some lemon water, thanks," Louis said. "Lucas?"

"I'll have a Coke." Louis squirmed at the waiter's raised eyebrow, who was probably unaccustomed to people drinking soft drinks at such a high-class establishment.

"Of course, sirs. I'll be back with your drinks soon." The waiter turned and walked away, leaving Louis alone with Lucas.

Louis picked up the menu and skimmed over it, already having an idea of what he wanted to eat since he'd been here several times before. In fact, unless the other person suggested someplace else to go, Louis always came to this restaurant for all the dates his friends forced him on - fancy, but not _too_ fancy so Louis wouldn't be wasting his money on another unsuccessful date. 

"Have you been here before?" Lucas; eyebrows were furrowed as he looked over the menu.

"Yeah, I've been here several times."

"What's a good thing to eat? I don't really know what to choose."

"How about the chicken alfredo?" Louis suggested. "It's a classic and you're bound to like it."

"Hm, yeah. What are you going to have?"

"Beef bourguignon."

"Sounds fancy."

"Well, it is a fancy restaurant. I'd be bonkers if I came here just to eat chicken nuggets or something." Louis closed his menu and took a deep breath. "So, um, Lucas, what do you do?"

"I'm a teacher, actually. I teach middle-schoolers math and sometimes science."

"So you teach the most hated subject in the world, huh? You must be popular with the kids."

"As a matter of fact, I am," Lucas smirked. "Kids may hate math, but they don't hate the handsome, dashing young teacher who teaches math."

"Bet the girls drool all over you, then."

"A little." Lucas wrinkled his nose. "Gets a bit weird."

"Is it challenging to handle so many children?" Louis asked.

Lucas shrugged. "Yeah, kind of. I love them to bits, but they can definitely be a rowdy bunch."

"Tell me about it. I have six siblings and they're already so hard to handle."

"Six?!" Lucas' eyes widened. "Whoa. That's a big family, it must be really fun."

Louis chuckled at Lucas' expression. "Yep. When I was growing up, our house was always in chaos, but in a good way."

"What do you do, then?"

"I'm a lawyer. I -"

At that moment, their waiter returned with their drinks, setting them down on the table and pulling out his notepad and pen. "Are you two ready to order?" They relayed their orders to the waiter, who nodded and scurried off.

"You were saying?" Lucas turned back to Louis.

"Hm?" Louis sipped his lemon water. "Oh, just that I'm a lawyer at Peter & Goodwins."

"You work at Peter & Goodwins? Wow, you must be rich."

"I'm fairly well off, yeah." Louis fiddled with his collar. "So, how do you know Niall?"

"Bumped into him at the grocery store and we got chatting," Lucas explained. "Although, it is a little weird he'd set me up on a date with you when I'm just a guy he met at the store."

Louis laughed. _Guess he's running out of people to set me up with._ "Well, you know Niall, he's a social butterfly with no boundaries. He seems to have really liked you, though."

"Aw, I'm glad to hear that." Lucas put his hand on his heart. "He's a sweetheart."

"That he is, that he is."

Halfway into their date, they'd both finished their drinks and Louis ordered a red wine for them to share, getting just a little tipsy and warming up to Lucas, progressing past the awkward I-just-met-you phase as they giggled over their wine glasses. 

"No."

"Yes."

"No, no way." Louis shook his head.

"Yes way!"

"Come on, that can't be possible."

"Well, it _is._

"There cannot be more trees on the planet than there are stars in our galaxy! Just - no."

"It's true!" Lucas insisted. "I didn't believe it when Amelia told me, but the numbers check out and everything."

"This Amelia must be a genius, then."

"Well, not exactly a genius, but very bright. They all are. You won't believe all of the random facts they tell me in class." Lucas took another swig of his wine and checked his watch. "Oh wait, it's getting kind of late."

Louis checked his own watch. "Yeah, it is. We should get going - we both have work tomorrow."

They split the bill and lingered outside of the restaurant next to Louis' car.

"You know, I did have my doubts about this date," Lucas admitted. "I've never really had a date with someone on a _Thursday_."

"Ah, yes. Sorry if it was a bit inconvenient for you, but I was occupied for all the other days," Louis apologized. Well, he was free on the weekends, but he reserved his weekends for relaxing, playing with Milky, and spending time with his family and friends, not for dates with strangers.

"No, no! Don't apologize, it's totally understandable." Lucas waved his hand dismissively. "And anyway, this date was wonderful. I had a lot of fun."

Louis smiled bashfully. "I'm glad you had a good time." Before Lucas could suggest going on a second date, Louis said, "Um, I-I'll text you, then?"

"Yeah, sure." Lucas eyed Louis' car. "You sure you're fit to drive?"

"Hm, probably. I didn't drink that much wine, right?" 

"Well..." Lucas squinted. "Maybe it's better if you call Niall to come drive you home or something. You know, just to be safe."

"Yeah, I should." Louis sighed and slipped his phone out to text Niall.

"I'll see you then. Bye, Louis."

"Bye."

Lucas leaned forward and pecked Louis on the cheek, catching Louis off guard. He tried to keep the shocked expression off his face, watching as Lucas walked away, heart hammering in his chest. Even after three years, a kiss on the cheek from someone else felt like Louis was betraying Harry. He shouldn't feel that way, but he did and he couldn't help it. 

He got into the passenger side of his car, waiting for Niall to arrive, and promptly sunk his head in his hands and stayed that way for several minutes. This date hadn't been _bad._ It was definitely better than some of the other dates Louis had gone on, at least, but that was because on the other dates he'd been actively pushing his date away. This time, he'd done what Danielle had advised and simply let things happen. He had to admit he'd had an enjoyable time, and that Lucas was very sweet and a lovely person to talk to, but they hadn't connected like Louis had connected with Harry.

Louis could still remember his first date with Harry - they were two university students, too broke to afford a fancy restaurant date, so instead they'd gone ice-skating and Harry had fallen on his ass about twenty times while Louis had a laughing fit and almost choked on his own saliva. After that, they'd gone for some hot chocolate, huddled up together because it was so cold and Louis hadn't worn enough jackets. Harry had accidentally spilled his chocolate on Louis and apologized Louis' ear off while they went back to Louis' dorm so Louis could get some more clothes, and Louis had fallen head over heels for Harry.

 _Stop thinking about Harry_ , he scolded himself. It was years ago and irrelevant, and it wasn't helping Louis move on, either. He sat up and watched people pass by his car, seeing all of the couples walk out of the restaurant hand-in-hand, feeling a twinge of sadness. He and Harry were like that once.

Niall arrived in a cab, looking a little miffed while he cradled Milky in his arms. "If you were going to drink, you shouldn't have driven here," he grumbled as he slid into the driver's seat and handed Louis his puppy.

"Kinda forgot about that." Louis took Milky from Niall and settled her into his lap. "Thanks for coming to get me, by the way. You could've left Milky at home, though."

"Yeah, well, I would have never heard the end of it from Liam if I let you drive home drunk. Plus, I thought Milky would like to go on a little adventure to come get you."

" 'm not drunk. Just a little tipsy."

"Doesn't matter. How was the date?" Niall started the car and pulled into traffic. 

"It was alright." Louis placed a kiss on Milky's head. "You're the cutest puppy, aren't you?"

"Are you going to go for the second date?"

"Are you going to love Milky unconditionally?"

"Louis." Niall glared at him. "Stop using Milky to change the subject. And yes, I will love Milky unconditionally. Now, are you going to go for the second date?"

Louis shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, at least there's a chance you will. Lucas is nice, right?"

"Yeah. I guess."

Niall looked over at him and Louis tried not to make eye contact, just staring straight ahead. He could feel Niall's concerned stare and he wasn't in the mood to be pitied. Niall simply patted Louis' arm comfortingly before he turned back to the road, silently driving them home.

*****

It was 7:27am when Louis was licked awake by his dog.

"Milky, _no_ ," he groaned, trying to push the puppy away from his face. "Stop it!"

Milky, being absolutely tiny, was too small to reach Louis' bed by herself, but Louis had bought a few mini staircases for her so she could get onto his bed and the couch when she wanted to. Unfortunately for Louis, however, she often used her staircase to climb onto Louis' bed and wake him up before his alarm had even rang. On this day, she was dutifully licking Louis' face and yipping, wanting to cuddle. 

"C'mere, you little menace." Louis grabbed the puppy and gave her a few kisses, then cuddled her into his chest and closed his eyes again. "I still have a few minutes before I'm supposed to wake up, so shhh."

Milky obediently stopped yipping and instead snuggled into the warmth of Louis' chest, and the two spent ten more minutes in bed before Louis' alarm went off and he had to get ready for work. He made Milky's breakfast and let her eat while he got ready, chewing on a granola bar as he said goodbye, making sure he'd set up a few things so Milky could eat, drink and amuse herself while he was at work.

"Bye bye, cutie!" Louis scratched behind the puppy's ears and left before Milky could do something like look too cute and Louis would accidentally be late for work because he'd spent too much time cuddling his dog. He swung by the grocery store to buy a ready-made frozen meal that he could keep in the fridge and heat up in the office microwave - he'd sometimes go out for lunch, and very, very rarely he'd make himself a lunch to bring in the morning, but on busy days when he had a lot of work to do, he'd just get himself a store-bought meal.

He drove to work, said hello to a few colleagues, and sat down in his office. He still had a case to wrap up and a presentation to finish for the meeting, and he had a long day of work ahead of him. He'd probably be working overtime today, so he'd arranged for Niall to occasionally check up on Milky and take her on a walk since he'd be too busy.

During his lunch break, he'd microwaved his lunch and was eating in his office while he worked when Danielle knocked on the door and came in. "Hey, do you mind if I eat my lunch with you?"

"No, sit down."

Danielle sat down on the chair on the other side of Louis' desk and unwrapped her sandwich. She took a few bites, eyeing Louis with a weird look in her eye before she finally asked, "How was your date?"

Louis rolled his eyes. "I knew you wouldn't have come to eat with me in my office if you didn't have some ulterior motive."

"So how was it?" Danielle prompted.

"It was alright."

"I'm going to need more details than that. What's Lucas like?"

"Nice, I guess. Sweet. Charming."

"Did you do what I suggested? Open up a bit?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Good. Are you going to go for a second date, then?"

"I... I don't know."

"Hmm." Danielle chewed thoughtfully. "Do you not like him?"

"Of course I like him, or else I would have immediately said no to a second date," Louis said. "I just... don't know. I haven't gone on a second date for a year and a half."

"That doesn't mean anything, you know." Danielle unwrapped her second sandwich. "So, what's the deal?"

"Well." Louis twirled some pasta around his fork. "Lucas is a really great guy and we get along pretty well, I'm just not sure if I'm interested in him _romantically_. Maybe I could if I tried, but..."

"You shouldn't be forcing yourself to be romantically interested in someone, it should happen naturally," Danielle commented. "If you don't like him in that way, just don't go for a second date and you guys can just be friends."

"Yeah but... it's been three years, Dani. Maybe I'm just too used to Harry and what dating him was like. Niall's running out of people to set me up with, so I dunno, this could be my last chance at romance or something." Feeling Danielle's concerned look, he quickly tacked on, "Besides, Lucas is a nice person and I think he likes me."

"Well, alright, if you think you guys are a good fit then maybe you should go for the second date. But I'm serious, Lou, don't force yourself into liking someone. Neither of you are going to benefit from it. All you're going to do is hurt him, and hurt yourself."

*****

It was 10:27pm when Louis saw Harry for the first time in three years.

It was at Niall's party, the one that Louis had been sure he wouldn't be able to come to. He had a meeting, after all, that was starting quite late into the night and would last quite a bit. It would be an extremely long and tiring day, but at least it was a Friday and Louis had the weekend to relax, plus he was being paid for the overtime. He also had a few hours of free time between the time work usually ended and the start of the meeting, so he could grab a bite to eat and check up on Milky. He'd been prepared to come home extremely late and miss Niall's party, but his boss had suddenly pushed the meeting forward into their break, and the meeting had gone a lot smoother than Louis had expected.

By the time Louis got home, Niall's party had only just started for half an hour. Stomach growling, he made himself a sandwich and ate it over the counter, debating whether or not he should go to Niall's party or not. He was tired from work, but then again he hadn't seen some of his friends in a long time and it would be a good idea to catch up with them. Milky looked sleepy anyway, so after Louis was done with his sandwich, he settled Milky into her bed, went to the bathroom to freshen up a little, and made his way to Niall's apartment.

Niall's door was open and Louis strolled in, greeted by the sight of many of his friends laughing, chatting and dancing. He went into the kitchen and grabbed himself something to drink, cracking open a can of beer and sipping it as he surveyed the apartment, recognizing many familiar faces and a few unknown ones. He'd almost looked over the entire apartment when his eyes fell onto a face that made him do a double take.

Harry.

Louis nearly choked on his beer. His eyes widened, heart racing, fingers turning clammy around his drink. He blinked rapidly, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to spill down his face, his entire body rigid. He wondered if it was normal to react so strongly to merely seeing someone. Maybe he was just pathetic.

The last time Louis had seen Harry, it had been three years ago, the night when Louis left him. Three years ago, there were permanent purple bruises under Harry's eyes, he had pale, oily skin, and he constantly had a scowl on his face. Now, he looked well-rested, with golden, glowing skin, adorable dimples gracing his face as he smiled at the girl he was talking to. His hair, which had once reached his shoulders, was now cut short and styled back, a few curls hanging deliciously in front of his face.

Louis' breath hitched. Harry looked so different from the last time Louis had seen him. He looked younger, happier, and healthier. His hair had been short in university too, and, much to Louis' shock, it made him look like he had in school, when Louis had met him.

When Louis had fallen in love with him.

Those tousled curls, sparkling green eyes, and endearing dimples tugged at Louis' heartstrings and the painful memories brought back by the sight of Harry weren't enough to stop Louis from staring. He was somewhat aware of the fact that his mouth was slightly hanging open and a few people were looking at him, but he couldn't care less. Harry was here. Not the angry, pale drunkard Louis had left, but the sweet, smiling boy Louis had fallen in love with. _Louis'_ Harry.

"Louis?"

Louis finally managed to tear his eyes away from Harry and they landed on the person who had spoken, who happened to be Niall with an anxious look on his face. "Oh. Hey, Ni."

"I-I thought you said you had a meeting and you couldn't make it to my party?" Niall's voice was strained.

"My boss pushed the meeting forward so I came home a lot earlier than I expected."

Niall glanced over at Harry and turned back to Louis, a terrified expression on his face. Louis would've scoffed at him if he didn't feel like he was about to cry. "I swear I only invited him because I thought you weren't coming to the party, I-I can ask him to leave -"

"Niall," Louis interrupted. "You don't have to ask him to leave."

"Well, the other option would be you leaving."

" _Niall_. Neither of us has to leave. It's been three years and we're both mature adults, we'll be fine." Louis wasn't sure if he really believed what he was saying, but he knew it was what he should be believing.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then, come on." Niall put a hand on Louis' back and led him into the kitchen. "I'll get you something stronger than that beer. From the look on your face, you need it."

Louis was grateful for his friends. Although they overreacted about every little Harry-related thing, as soon as Niall told Liam and Zayn about Louis seeing Harry, they'd informed a few other close friends and made sure that Louis was never alone during the party and he always had someone to keep him company. Louis was thankful for the almost bodyguard-like surveillance his friends formed around him, and although he felt like they were coddling him a little too much, it made sure that Louis wouldn't ever be alone so Harry probably wouldn't approach him.

During the party, Louis could see and feel Harry's eyes on him out of the corner of his eye. It wasn't like he expected Harry wouldn't notice him at all, but once he knew Harry had seen him, he felt like he could have passed out. Louis didn't dare look at Harry anymore, worried that they'd make eye contact and Louis would have to acknowledge Harry's presence and talk to him. Louis didn't think he could survive the first second of talking to Harry.

Instead, Louis tried to distract himself by talking to his friends, but he couldn't focus on what his friends were saying and just ended up nodding along mindlessly, sipping on the drink Niall had replaced his beer with.

He'd been at the party for an hour when Louis decided to leave. He'd been there long enough to say hello to a few friends he hadn't seen in a while, he was tired from working the whole day, and he wanted to go home and sleep. It had been an overwhelming day. The music and the talking of the party clouded his mind and he couldn't focus on anything anyone was saying, much less focus on his feelings and process seeing Harry after so long. "I think I'm going to head home now," Louis mumbled to Niall.

"Oh." Niall turned away from whoever he had been talking to. "Do you want me to walk you home?"

"No, no." Louis shook his head. He was a little drunk, but he was pretty sure Niall was a little drunker than he was, and his apartment was a minute's walk away from Niall's anyway. "I can go home myself."

"Well, alright." Niall shot him a slightly troubled look. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lou."

"Bye." Louis set his drink down on the counter and smiled apologetically at the person Niall had been talking to. "See you, Ni." He stepped away from Niall and spotted Liam and Zayn a few feet away, wondering if he should go say goodbye to them as well, but decided against it as they were chatting with several other people and he didn't want to bother them.

Louis headed for the door, slipping between Niall's guests and muttering apologies when he accidentally bumped into someone. He'd nearly made it to the door when he suddenly heard a familiar, deep voice calling his name. He hadn't heard it in three years, but he could recognize it anywhere.

"Louis! Louis, wait!"

Louis panicked. He wasn't ready to talk to Harry. Not now, not ever. He sped up his footsteps, pretending he hadn't heard Harry shouting his name, and practically ran into the lift and pressed the button repeatedly until the doors closed. Inside the safety of the lift, Louis slumped against the wall, relieved that Harry hadn't been able to catch him. What did Harry want to say to Louis anyway? Louis wasn't sure if he wanted to find out.

When he walked through the door to his apartment, he was greeted by a drowsy puppy pawing at his ankles, asking for a few cuddles before she fell asleep. Louis picked her up and scratched behind her ears absentmindedly, taking off his shoes and grabbing a box of aspirin from the medicine cabinet to put on his nightstand if he woke up with a hangover the next morning.

"Nighty night, Milky." Louis settled Milky into her bed again, then changed into his pajamas and slipped into bed himself. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, exhausted.

*****

It was 9:17am when Louis woke up with a headache. 

He rolled over and spotted the box of aspirin on his nightstand, remembering how he'd put them there last night. _I'm a genius_ , he thought as he swallowed two pills down with a gulp of water. He was usually never up this early, but his head was pounding and he couldn't go back to sleep.

He got out of bed and padded over to the kitchen in search of coffee, which would hopefully pair well with the aspirin and rid him of his hangover. He opened the cupboard and groaned when he saw that he just so happened to be out of coffee - he'd finished it the day before, drinking an absurd amount of coffee in preparation for a long day at work.

Sighing, he brushed his teeth, changed his clothes and checked on Milky, who was still asleep. Maybe Louis could pop downstairs to the café and buy himself some coffee, then come back home and take Milky for her morning walk later. His head was killing him and he really needed some coffee. He put his shoes on and slipped out of the door, not bothering to tame his unruly hair. He knew he looked like a tired mess, but he was sure the people at the café were used to that.

The café was a few minutes' walk away and Louis soon had a cup of iced coffee in his hands, standing outside the store to drink a few sips and have some well-needed caffeine enter his system before he'd walk back home and finish the rest of his drink on his couch. The harsh sunlight and the sound of cars and people talking around him didn't do much to help Louis' hangover, and he squinted while he walked, vision slightly blurred from the brightness of the sun and the pounding in his head.

He was about to turn the corner when he slammed into a person and spilled all of the coffee in his cup onto that person. "Oops!" The man Louis had spilled his coffee all over had somehow been knocked over too while Louis remained standing. Something about the man's caramel curls felt familiar but Louis ignored that and quickly knelt down next to the man. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

"Hi, yeah, 'm alright, just covered in coffee." Louis froze at the sound of the man's deep voice, and hoped with all of his might that it wasn't who he thought it was. The man sat up and Louis' worst fears were confirmed - he'd spilled coffee on Harry Styles.

"H-Harry?"

Harry sat up and blinked confusedly at Louis. "Louis?"

Louis stared at Harry with his mouth hanging open, but snapped out of it and stood up when he realized they'd been blocking the road and a few people were giving them dirty looks. He offered Harry his hand and Harry took it, getting pulled up and huffing at the sight of his coffee-covered clothes. "Sorry," Louis squeaked.

"It's alright." Harry stopped looking at his clothes and looked at Louis. "What are you doing here?"

"I...I live here. What are _you_ doing here?"

"I left my jacket at Niall's last night, and I, uh, came here to get it." Harry held up a denim jacket for Louis to see, which was now covered in coffee stains. 

"O-oh." Louis cleared his throat. "I'm so, so sorry I spilled my coffee all over you. Um, do you wanna come up to my apartment? I can, you know, try to get the stains off and give you some clean clothes to wear."

"No, no, it's fine, I don't want to be a bother," Harry said

Louis was relieved at this, he'd only offered because that was the proper thing to do and what his mum had taught him to do. He was about to say, _Okay, bye_ , when the self-destructiveness in him took control and he suddenly blurted out, "I insist, it's my fault you're all covered in coffee. I don't live too far from here."

Harry pondered the offer for a few seconds. "Okay."

Louis wondered if he'd ever stop making stupid decisions as he led Harry to his apartment. He'd done so well these past years, never seeing Harry at all, the heartbreak and loss of Harry always hanging over his head but never falling. Now, one stupid, irrational move might make all of Louis' feelings smash down onto him.

"So... you and Niall live close to each other then?" Harry stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, um, yeah. Our buildings are practically next to each other."

"That must be nice, to have a friend so close."

"Mm. I was less lonely after he moved."

"You were at Niall's party last night, right?"

Louis stared at his feet as he walked to avoid making eye contact with Harry. "Yeah."

"Good. I was so sure I saw you last night, but this morning I thought maybe I was just hallucinating," Harry chuckled. "I called your name when you left. I wanted to talk to you."

"Really? I didn't hear you," Louis lied. 

"Obviously. You didn't stop walking."

They entered Louis' apartment building, Louis said hello to the doorman, and they got into the elevator. Louis fidgeted with his clothes nervously. "What did you want to talk to me about last night?" He regretted the question as soon as it came out of his mouth, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious.

Harry shrugged. "Just... wanted to catch up with you, I guess. We haven't seen each other in three years, Lou."

"Louis," Louis corrected under his breath. He hadn't intended for Harry to hear it, but Harry muttered an apology, which made Louis feel bad for a second before he reminded himself that he shouldn't feel bad. They weren't dating anymore - they weren't even friends. Harry had no right or reason to call Louis by his old nickname, even though it gave Louis a warm and comforting feeling to heart the nickname from Harry's lips. Noticing Harry had gone quiet and was looking rather embarrassed, Louis tried to continue the conversation. "So, how's life? Are you still working at _The Lonely Fish_?"

They exited the elevator and stood outside Louis' apartment as Louis unlocked the door. " _The Lonely Fish_? Yeah, I still work - oh my God, is that a puppy?"

Louis opened the door and Milky, who was already awake and had smelled a stranger, was waiting patiently at the door. She perked up at the sight of Louis, and perked up even more at the sight of a possible new friend. Louis stepped into his apartment and bent down to give Milky a few scratches as he toed his shoes off. "Mhmm! She's a little Corgi puppy."

Harry's cheeks were flushed pink in excitement and he squatted down. "Can I pet her?"

"Of course! Just uh, come in first so I can close the door."

"What's her name?" Harry stood up so he could step into the apartment.

"Milk Tea, but we call her Milky for short."

Milky barked happily at her new friend and tried desperately to lick Harry's face, who gave in and was giggling with a little puppy in his lap. Louis watched them with a small smile on his face, loving how happy Harry looked. After Milky had calmed down, Louis prepared her breakfast and set it down on the floor for her to eat while he dealt with Harry.

"So, um, my clothes might be a little tight on you," Louis said, leading Harry into his room. He rummaged through his closet, pulled out the biggest clothes he owned and handed them to Harry. "Here, you can try these on."

"Thanks, Louis."

Louis left the room and went into the kitchen, watching Milky devour her breakfast. He tried to distract himself from thinking about Harry being practically naked in his room and realized that he still didn't have coffee, but the aspirin was kicking in and the shock of seeing Harry had somehow helped. Instead, he opted for making a cup of tea, reasoning that tea also had caffeine in it and it tasted better, anyway.

He bustled around his kitchen, making tea like he always did and letting the muscle memory kick in. When he was done he was rather surprised to see that he'd accidentally made two cups of tea, instead of just one for himself. What's more, the two cups of tea were different. One was Yorkshire with no sugar - Louis' usual cup of tea, and the other was tea with three sugars... Harry's usual cup of tea.

Louis mentally slapped himself. He'd only done it because Harry was here and he'd subconsciously decided to make a cup of tea for Harry too, right? It most definitely wasn't because Louis was so used to making two different cups of tea for him and Harry in the three years they'd lived together. It also most definitely wasn't strange that Louis remembered exactly how Harry took his tea.

At that moment, Harry came out of Louis' room dressed in his clothes and holding his dirty clothes. "These fit really well, thanks Louis."

"Oh, um, good." Louis took the stained clothes from Harry. "I'll go put some stain remover on these for you. I, uh, made you a cup of tea?"

"Oh, great! Thanks."

Louis went into the bathroom to spray on the stain remover, going over each piece of stained clothing diligently to make sure Harry would be able to get all of the coffee out. He picked up Harry's jacket and laid it out on the counter, prepared to spray it down when a flash of red caught his eye.

There was a very obvious lipstick stain on the collar of Harry's jacket, and Louis' heart stopped. Who did the lipstick stain come from? Louis tried to shake himself out of it. Harry probably had a girlfriend and it was probably from her, no matter how much it hurt Louis to think about Harry with somebody else. Where else would the lipstick come from? It had been three years. Harry had moved on, and it wasn't his fault that Louis hadn't.

Louis returned to the kitchen a few minutes later with Harry's stained clothes in a plastic bag for him to carry back home. Harry was leaning against the counter, sipping on his tea. Something about the situation made Louis feel a sense of déjà vu, and he realized why it felt so familiar - Harry had spilled hot chocolate on him on their first date, and they'd gone back to Louis' dorm so Louis could get some new clothes. 

_Stop thinking about that_ , he scolded himself as he approached Harry and handed him his clothes. "Here you go. You can just pop them in the washing machine when you get home."

"Thank you." Harry took the bag from Louis and continued to drink his tea. Milky was sitting on Harry's feet but he didn't seem to mind, probably feeling a bit smug about how easily the puppy had taken to him.

Louis picked up his own mug and blew on it to cool the tea down a little. "So, um, you were saying? Do you still work at _The Lonely Fish_?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I still work there. I'm head chef now," Harry said proudly.

"Really?" Louis couldn't help grinning, knowing that being head chef had always been Harry's dream. "Good for you!"

"Mhmm, I got promoted like a year and a bit ago, it's great. It's finally my turn to boss people around and it pays well, of course." Harry's smile faded a little. "It was a bit of a bumpy road to get here, though. I got fired before."

Louis' eyes widened. "You got fired?"

Harry nodded. "Three years ago. When you... you know."

Louis swallowed. "I... I'm so sorry," he whispered. 

"Hey, don't worry, it wasn't your fault," Harry said gently. "It was mine. I kept coming to work drunk or not coming at all, and ultimately I just got fired. I deserved it."

"How'd you get your job back?"

"Well, when I got better I asked my boss - Angie, remember? - if I could have my job back, I explained everything to her and she gave it to me," Harry explained.

"She always had a bit of a soft spot for you." Louis held his mug up to his lips, but didn't drink from it. "Y-you got better, then?"

"Mhmm. When my mum found out I had a drinking problem and I got fired from my job, she whisked me back home and I stayed there for a month or two. I got help and when I was getting better I came back here and spent some time just reflecting and recollecting myself." Harry's eyes got a little misty as he recounted that time of his life. 

"I'm really glad," Louis said softly, and he meant it.

"I-I don't drink much now. I try not to. Don't want to slip back into the monster I was then." Harry took another gulp of his tea. "Lighter stuff like red wine is alright, I guess, but I try to stay away from it, mostly."

"I'm sorry," Louis said again, feeling like he could say it a million times and it still wouldn't be enough.

Harry blinked at him. "Lou, you really have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I should be thanking you. You leaving me was the best thing you could have done for me."

Louis felt like Harry had just slapped him straight across the face. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Don't take it the wrong way," Harry said quickly, realizing what it sounded like. "Okay, maybe I phrased it badly. But seriously, thank you for leaving me. I really needed it. Back then, I was really messed up, I kept drinking, and I felt so _angry_ all the time. You were always there for me, always trying to take care of me, and I took it all out on you. I treated you horribly and I'm really grateful you left the toxic environment I created before things got even worse."

Louis moistened his lips. "B-but I could've stayed. I could've helped you through it, but all I did was scream back at you and leave. I could've supported you through it instead of leaving you all by yourself to deal with your demons."

"I'm not your responsibility," Harry said. "I'm glad you got yourself out before I could - before I could hurt you any more." Harry looked down at his shoes and Milky looked back up at him. "The night you left, I thought I was dreaming." Harry laughed hollowly. "Can you believe that? I was so drunk off my own ass I thought I was dreaming. I thought you weren't really leaving. That if you did, you'd come back. I was so used to you being _there_ , you know? We were always together. It was always _us_. The idea of you leaving wasn't fathomable to me. So I just let you leave. I j-just let you l-leave -"

Harry cut himself off, eyes filling with tears. Louis reached out to pat him on the arm, trying to comfort him. "Take your time, Haz." He didn't even notice himself slipping back into the use of the old nickname.

Harry took a deep breath and continued after a few seconds, "Well, the next morning I woke up with the worst hangover of my life and it finally sunk in that you'd left me. That you'd genuinely packed your bags and left. That you didn't want me anymore."

Louis wanted to scream, _That's not true!_ He hadn't stopped wanting Harry back then, and he hadn't stopped wanting Harry now. Maybe not romantically, but he'd always want Harry, _need_ him, by his side.

"I lost it," Harry confessed. "Called my mum, screaming and crying. Smashed a few more vases while I was at it. I was... I was in a really dark place."

"Sorry," Louis mumbled.

"Stop apologizing, silly." Harry poked Louis. "It wasn't your fault. You leaving me was the wake up call I really needed. I finally realized what I'd become and I was determined to get better. _I'm_ the one who's sorry, Lou. I took you for granted. I hurt you so much and you didn't deserve any of it. I-I still haven't forgiven myself for what I did to you."

"Harry..." Louis moved closer to him. "I don't blame you. You couldn't control yourself and you needed help. I'm really glad you got the help you needed and you got yourself back on track."

"Mm." Harry wiped a few tears away from his eyes. "I'm sorry for unloading all of this onto you. I know you don't want to talk about it. You probably don't even want to see me."

"Harry, that's not true," Louis said. "I always wondered how you were, and I'm always here if you want to talk."

"You were always so kind and sweet." Harry smiled. "How about you? Still working at Peter & Goodwins?"

"Yep. I got promoted too, but nothing much has really changed."

"Did Allie have her babies yet?"

"Of course! She had twins."

"Twins?" Harry's eyes bulged. "Have you met them?"

"Yeah. They come to work sometimes, and they're very cute."

Harry pouted and it tugged at Louis' heartstrings. "I want to meet them."

Louis cooed internally. "I'll ask Allie for you."

"Yay!" Harry clapped his hands and Milky barked, chiming in with Harry's excitement.

Louis checked his watch. "Um, I have to go take Milky for her morning walk now."

"And I should probably get going." Harry set his mug down on the counter. "Louis... will we see each other again?" 

Louis gaped for words.

"Um, as friends of course," Harry clarified, slightly embarrassed. "I really want us to be friends. I-I miss you."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Louis would be lying if he said he didn't want them to be friends too. "My number's the same if you want to text me."

"Mine's the same as well." Harry bent down to lift Milky off his feet and walked over to Louis' front door to put his shoes on.

"I'll go down with you, I'm heading down anyway for Milky's walk," Louis offered. "Just wait a second, I have to get Milky's things." Once he'd retrieved Milky's leash and a baggie of treats, he slipped on his shoes as well and picked Milky up. "C'mon."

They took the elevator down and walked out of the building's front door, and Louis set Milky down on the floor. Almost as soon as they exited the building, they heard a series of very loud, unintelligible choking sounds and turned around to see Niall staring at them, jaw hanging open.

"L-Louis? H-Harry?" he spluttered. 

"Hey, Ni." Louis thought Niall was about to have a heart attack right there in the middle of the street.

"Good morning, blondie." Harry flashed Niall a smile.

"What the hell?"

Louis opened his mouth to explain, but Milky yipped, eager to go on her walk, and Harry spotted a cab and hailed it. "I'd love to stay and chat, Niall, but I've got to go now," Harry said apologetically. "I'll see you around."

"S-see you." Niall was still in a state of shock.

"Bye, Louis." Harry got into the cab and gave Louis a hopeful look. "I'll text you?"

"Yeah, sure. Bye, H."

Louis and Niall watched Harry's cab drive off, and Louis linked his arm with Niall's. "Come on, doofus. We're taking Milky on a walk and I'll answer all the questions you want."

"Good, because I have a lot of questions. A lot!" Niall exploded.

"Of course you do."

*****

It was 2:45pm almost a week later when Louis decided Lucas was the love of his life.

Well. Not really. Harry was the love of his life, but Harry had a girlfriend now. He'd moved on, and Louis should too. Lucas wasn't the love of his life, but Louis could pretend. He was good at pretending.

Louis didn't really _mean_ that Lucas was the love of his life, because he really wasn't. He was just trying to convince himself that he could love Lucas if he tried, and he could be happy with him. Louis needed to move on, no matter how much he didn't want to, and stop unconsciously holding out for Harry. Lucas was his ticket to a better life where Louis would stop constantly thinking about Harry.

The last second date Louis had gone on was his second date with Harry, and that was years ago. He hadn't gone on a second date with anyone else, no matter how hard Niall, Zayn and Liam tried to find a nice guy for him to go on a date with. That was all going to change, though, because Louis had decided he'd go on a second date with Lucas. It wasn't a drastic move or anything, but Louis' hands were shaking with nerves as he typed out a text message and sent it to Lucas.

As soon as he'd sent it, Louis threw his phone down and covered his face with his hands, hoping it wasn't the wrong move. Milky came over to investigate Louis' behavior and licked his hands, making Louis giggle. "Hey, Milky." Milky sat down on the couch next to Louis and lay her head down on his chest, snuggling close. Louis placed his hand on top of her head and stroked her soft fur. "You'll always be there for me no matter what, right?"

Milky affirmed her answer with a little whine, and that was that.

Lucas had proposed they go watch a movie for their second date, so on Monday afternoon Louis waited patiently in his office for Lucas to arrive. He'd originally wanted to meet up with Lucas at the cinema, but Lucas had insisted on coming over to pick Louis up, wanting to see Louis' office.

Louis's phone buzzed and he picked it up, seeing a message from Lucas that said, _i'm here!_ Louis fidgeted with his tie and typed back a reply, telling Lucas to go to the seventeenth floor and that his secretary would let him in.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Danielle opened the door, revealing Lucas, who was staring in awe at Louis' office. "Whoa."

"Here's your date, boss." Danielle gave Louis a reassuring look.

"Thanks, Dani."

Danielle left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Lucas and Louis alone. 

"Your office is _huge_ ," Lucas marveled. "And it's so fancy. How does a law firm have so many floors?"

"Well, we _are_ an international law firm." Louis picked up his briefcase from where it lay on the table. 

"I can't imagine having such a large and spacey office." Lucas spun around a few times.

"It does get a little too formal and classy sometimes," Louis admitted. "It's not a very cozy or homey office, but I'm grateful for it."

"I don't even have an office, all I have is a classroom I share with another teacher and a cubicle in the staff room," Lucas said slightly enviously. He stood behind Louis' desk and picked up a photo frame, making Louis wince slightly. He didn't know Lucas well enough to be comfortable with him touching all of his things. "Is that your family?"

The picture he held indeed featured the Tomlinson family at their Christmas dinner, gathered under the Christmas tree and posing for the camera. Harry, Gemma and Anne were there too, Harry standing at the back with Louis, an arm around his waist and a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah. That picture was taken five years ago."

"Who's that standing next to you?"

Louis squirmed. "A-a family friend."

"Your family is beautiful. Your little brother and sister are adorable!"

Louis subconsciously puffed out his chest proudly. "Aren't they?"

Lucas set the photo frame back down on Louis' desk. "Let's get going, shall we?"

"What movie are we watching?" Louis asked, heading towards the door.

"The 1998 version of _Godzilla_. They're showing a few of the older movies at the theater and I went for it."

They got into Louis' car and drove to the cinema, and Louis bought two buckets of popcorn while Lucas went to retrieve their movie tickets. They settled into the theater, which was pretty packed for a Monday afternoon.

"Here you go," Louis whispered, handing Lucas his popcorn.

"Thanks, Louis."

The movie started and they fell into silence, eyes glued to the screen. Louis couldn't help feeling a little awkward - they were sitting right next to each other but not talking at all. He'd been on a movie date with Harry before, but that was after they'd had their first kiss and they'd been cuddly and cozy with each other, not in the delicate second date stage of their relationship.

Halfway through the movie, Louis was starting to get a little bored when his phone buzzed. He picked it up and saw his phone lighting up with a text notification from Harry. Harry had sent Louis the first text on the afternoon of the day they bumped into each other, and they'd been texting ever since. It wasn't anything much, just exchanging formalities and asking each other questions to help them catch up with each other. This time, Harry had asked, _do you have any pictures of allie's babies?_

Louis rolled his eyes. Harry loved babies a little too much, although Louis did find it really adorable. He sent back a simple _yes_ and turned his eyes back to the movie screen before Lucas could get suspicious of anything. His phone buzzed again a few seconds later, with another message from Harry begging for Louis to send him a picture. Louis picked up his phone again and sent him his most recent picture of Allie's twins, which happened to be a selfie he took with them. Harry responded with _aw, three babies in one picture_ and Louis messaged him back, saying _i'm not a baby._

Louis remembered a time when Harry would have responded with something like, _you're MY baby_ , but that era was long gone. He turned his phone off and set it back onto his lap, looking over at Lucas and seeing that Lucas had been looking at his phone.

"Sorry, just an old friend texting," Louis murmured. Lucas accepted that explanation and turned back to watching the movie. Louis' phone buzzed a few more times but Louis didn't check the notifications, feeling guilty for texting his ex while on a date with somebody else.

By the end of the movie, Louis was a feeling little drowsy from being in a dark room for an hour and a half. He and Lucas exited the theater and stood around one of the waiting areas, stretching and yawning a little.

"Wasn't _Godzilla_ great?" Lucas had seemed to really enjoy the movie, while Louis had seen it a few times before and thought it was a little mediocre.

"Yeah, it was great," Louis fibbed.

"Want to grab a bite to eat with me? It's almost dinnertime."

Louis shook his head. "No thanks, I'm pretty full from eating an entire bucket of popcorn."

"Okay." Lucas seemed a little crestfallen. "You're going to head home now?"

Louis nodded. "You?"

"I think I'm going to eat some dinner before I go home. I have a pile of ungraded papers waiting for me at home." Lucas yawned.

Louis smiled half-heartedly. "Good luck with that, then."

"Mm, I'll need it. I'll text you?"

"Sure. See you!" 

"Bye, Louis." Lucas leaned down to kiss Louis on the cheek like he'd done on their first date, and Louis didn't stop him. After all, Lucas was the new love of his life, wasn't he?

*****

It was 11:45am when Louis was massacred by two babies.

"Unca Lou!" A small, short boy burst through Louis' office door and ran up to Louis' desk, trying to crawl onto Louis' lap. 

"Hi, Kai!" Louis was momentarily startled but quickly recovered, lifting the little toddler into his lap. "Where's your sister?"

"Aurie's with Mommy," Kai said. "Slow!"

"Not slow!" Aurelia protested, walking in hand in hand with her mother. "Unca Lou!"

"Hi, sweetie!" Louis waved at the little girl while Kai tried to vie for his attention. "Hey, Allie. I almost forgot you said you'd be bringing them to work today."

Allie let go of Aurelia's hand and the toddler ran towards Louis, trying to copy her twin and sit on Louis' lap too. "They've really been looking forward to seeing you, I'm starting to think they may love you a little more than they love Jack and I."

Louis smirked. "Good to know."

"We love Unca Lou!" Kai cheered, trying to wrap his short arms around Louis' torso and resting his head on Louis' chest. Aurelia copied him and Louis felt his heart melt at the two toddlers sitting on his lap.

"Aw, Uncle Louis loves you guys too," he said, patting their hair. "By the way, Allie, Harry said he wanted to meet the twins."

Allie frowned. "Since when do you and Harry talk?"

"Since Saturday. We bumped into each other."

"Who's Harry?" Aurelia lifted her head off Louis' chest and looked up at him expectantly.

"Umm..." Louis looked over at Allie for support, and when Allie shrugged, he said, "Harry's a friend."

"Why Unca Lou only talk to Harry since Sa'urday?"

Allie coughed. "Harry used to be Uncle Lou's boyfriend. Now, Aurie, stop asking about Harry. Louis, I'm totally okay with Harry meeting the twins, although I haven't really seen him much in the past three years. He's gotten better, right?"

"Mhmm, he's sober and -" 

Louis' reply was cut off when Kai tugged on Louis' jacket and whined, "Unca Lou, let's play!"

Louis gave Allie an _I'll tell you later_ look and looked down at the two toddlers on his lap, ready to entertain them, when his phone started to ring. The caller ID on his phone flashed _Harry_ , and Louis' heart momentarily stopped. Allie saw his phone screen and quickly came over to lift her children off Louis' lap and ushered them out of the room to give Louis some privacy.

As soon as Allie and her twins were out of the room, Louis answered the phone and held it shakily up to his ear. "Harry?"

"Hey, Louis." The sound of Harry's voice over the phone was so familiar, and it reminded Louis of the hours-long phone conversations they used to have before they started living together. "Is this a bad time?"

"It's alright, I'm about to go on my lunch break," Louis said. "Why are you calling?"

"Do-do you not want me to call you?" Harry's tone was timid.

"No, no, I'm just a little curious. Is there something you need from me?"

"Um, I wanted to ask if I could come up to your office and go eat lunch with you? Plus you said Allie would be bringing her babies to work today, and I want to meet them if that's okay with her." Harry's words came out of his mouth at an inhuman speed, as they always did when he got nervous, but Louis managed to catch everything he'd said.

"Y-you want to eat lunch with me?" Louis was in disbelief.

"Only if you want to of course, you don't have to," Harry said quickly. "I-I thought we could catch up with each other properly, not just over text. And I could return the clothes you gave me on Saturday. And I can meet Allie's babies? Will you ask her for me?"

"I've asked her already and she's okay with it." Louis stood up from his chair and paced around his office. "The twins are here right now, they're actually right outside my office. Where are you right now? If you hurry you might be able to catch the twins before they go out for lunch with their mum."

"I'm actually right outside of your office right now," Harry squeaked.

"What?!"

"Uh... surprise?"

"Harry!"

"I kind of... came here before I remembered I have to ask you for permission to eat with you now," Harry said quietly. "But, um, I'm here already, so I'll just come up. Which floor is your new office on?"

"Seventeenth."

Harry wolf whistled. "Seventeenth? Wow, you're on the fancy floor." 

Louis giggled. "I know. I have a third of the floor all to myself."

"You lucky duck. I'll be up in a few minutes."

"Okay. Danielle will let you in. See you, H."

Louis hung up the phone and opened the door, letting Allie and the twins back in. "Hey, guys! Sorry about that."

"Play with Unca Lou now?" Aurelia stepped forward and hugged Louis' leg.

"In a second, Aurie. I need to talk to your mummy for a bit, you and Kai can play together for a bit, alright?" Louis carefully removed Aurelia from his leg and set her next to her brother. 

"Okay." Aurelia pouted but grabbed her brother's hand and toddled over to a corner of Louis' office.

"What did Harry want?" Allie looked concerned for her friend. "Everything okay between you guys?"

"Yeah, of course. He just said he wanted to eat lunch with me, and he's coming here to meet the twins as well," Louis said. "You know how excited he was when he found out you were pregnant, plus he loves children."

"He's coming here now?"

"Yep. Should be here any second, actually."

"And you're okay with all of this?"

"Yeah, of course! Harry's completely recovered now and he'll be super sweet with the kids -"

"I'm not talking about the twins, Louis. I know Harry will be an angel with them. I'm talking about _you_. How are you feeling with all of this? Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm okay with it." It wasn't a lie - over the past few days, Louis had gotten over the shock of seeing Harry and talking to him.

"Are you really?" Allie folded her arms.

"I'm fine, Allie. I promise. Harry wants to be friends and I want that too."

"Okay, but you know you don't owe him anything, right? And I'm always here if you want to talk to me."

"I know. Thanks, Allie. I promise I'm fine." Louis hoped he was.

*****

It was 12:12pm when Louis could finally drag Harry away from his office to go for lunch.

As soon as Harry stepped into Louis' office and caught sight of the twins, he melted into a puddle, and Louis thought Harry was about to start crying right there and then.

"Mummy? Who that?" Kai hid behind his mother's legs, Aurelia following his example.

"That's Harry, love."

"Harry? Unca Lou boyfriend?"

Both Harry and Louis froze. They exchanged an awkward glance and Louis cleared his throat, saying, "Um, not anymore. Never mind that! Kai, Aurie, why don't you come say hi?"

Aurelia and Kai immediately took to Uncle Harry and begged to play with him for a while before Allie and Louis insisted it was time for lunch, and they parted ways.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work? What's _The Lonely Fish_ going to do without their head chef?" Louis asked as they walked out of the building.

"Jenna's filling in for me so I can come see you."

Louis' cheeks flushed red. Jenna used to fill in for Harry too, when they had to make sacrifices and changes to their job in order to see each other more often when they were dating. "Where do you want to go for lunch, then?"

"You can pick, I really don't mind." Harry rifled through his bag and took out a set of neatly folded, clean clothes. "Here are your clothes, thanks a lot for lending them to me."

"I wasn't about to let you go home all covered in coffee," Louis said, taking the clothes from Harry and trying to stuff them into his briefcase. "Besides, it was my fault you ended up covered in coffee anyway."

"You were always clumsy and messy."

" _You're_ the clumsy one! You can trip over thin air, plus you spilled hot chocolate on me on our first date," Louis defended himself, immediately regretting it when he mentioned their first date.

"Oh yeah, I did that," Harry laughed. "Well, I guess we're even now."

"I guess so."

They settled on a diner near Louis' office, small and cozy and intimate. Louis hummed as he scanned the menu, deciding to eat a classic cheeseburger and waiting for Harry to choose his own meal. Once they'd ordered, they sat at their table facing each other, letting a comfortable silence fall over them.

"I forgot how fancy you look in a suit," Harry said, breaking the silence. "Did you gel your hair back?"

"Hmm?" Louis reached a hand up to pat his hair, feeling the familiar hardness of his hair gel. "Yeah. I've always done that for work, don't you remember?"

"No, no, I remember." Harry raked his eyes up and down Louis' body, but that was probably just Louis' imagination. "Just... more used to your other look, s'all."

"My other look?"

"You know, hoodies, sweaters, sweatpants, fluffy hair? Soft Louis," Harry described. "It's kinda funny how you can go from looking so cute and tiny to looking like a model once you put on a suit and gel your hair."

Louis felt a soft blush appear on his cheeks. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Harry took a gulp of his water. "I prefer the other you, though."

"You're confusing me, Harry. What other me? You've got to be more specific."

"Soft Louis with all your oversized hoodies."

"Why?"

Harry shrugged. "Dunno. You're homier, I suppose. Cuter, sweeter, softer. More approachable, you know? More cuddleable. Plus, I saw more of soft Louis, anyway."

Louis preened at Harry's compliments - he had always valued Harry's opinion more than anybody else's. "So, um, how's life? Where do you live now?"

"I still live in our apartment."

"Oh?" Louis raised an eyebrow. "I thought you would've moved."

Harry shook his head. "Nah. We picked out a great apartment with a great neighborhood. Besides, I really like the interior decorating."

" _I_ did the interior decorating."

"Exactly."

They stared at each other for a few intense seconds before Louis' phone, which had been lying on the table next to his hand, buzzed. The screen lit up and showed a notification from Lucas, a text that read _when will i see you again?_ with a red heart emoji at the end of the sentence, a jolting reminder that no matter how much Harry complimented Louis, it meant nothing because they were both seeing other people.

Louis was about to grab his phone and slip it back into his pocket, when he noticed that Harry was staring at Louis' phone with a frown on his face, reading the text message upside down. "Who's Lucas?"

"Umm..." Louis coughed, snatching his phone up from the table and shoving it into his pocket. "Nobody. Uh, a friend."

Louis thought there was a scowl on Harry's face, but it disappeared so quickly that maybe Louis was just hallucinating. "A friend?"

"Yeah. A friend."

They fell into silence again, but instead of being comfortable, it was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Louis wondered why Harry had seemed to be upset by the text message. Didn't Harry have a girlfriend of his own? Didn't Harry expect Louis to have moved on, too?

Harry seemed to have regained his composure after a while. "H-how are the girls? And Ernie?"

"They're doing great. They never say, but I think they really miss you."

"Really?" Harry's eyes lit up. "I thought they didn't like me anymore."

"Why would you think that?"

"Out of loyalty to you, I guess."

Louis snorted. "Please. They're really not the most loyal set of siblings. I think they all talk crap about me behind my back."

"You know they love you, babe."

Louis almost spat out his water, shivering at the pet name.

Harry turned bright red, realizing his mistake, and tried to correct it. "I mean, uh, not babe, uh, I'm sorry -"

"S'alright," Louis said, desperate to change the subject. "Do you wanna see a picture of the girls and Ernie? They've all changed quite a bit in these three years."

"Of course!" Harry ran a hand through his curls, still embarrassed from his slip up.

Louis pulled his phone out and swiped away Lucas' text message notification, trying to ignore the jumbled mix of feelings he was currently feeling. He was supposed to be moving on with Lucas, and he couldn't let the way Harry made him feel get in the way of that.

*****

It was 6:05pm a few days later when Louis' three best friends burst through his door for an intervention.

Okay, they didn't exactly burst through the door. They walked in rather peacefully through Louis' front door without knocking, thanks to Niall's spare key. Louis was curled up on the couch with Milky, watching a movie, and he wasn't even startled when he heard three pairs of feet walk into his apartment. He was too used to them coming in whenever they wanted. "Hey, guys."

"Hey," they chorused back, closing the door behind them and taking off their shoes.

Louis turned around to look at them. "You're here about Harry, aren't you?"

Both Liam and Zayn said, "No," while Niall said, "Of course we are!"

Liam glared at Niall, and the blonde said, "What? He's going to know sooner or later when we start talking."

Liam sighed. "Fair enough. Louis, can we talk?"

Louis grabbed the TV remote and paused the movie. "Sure. You guys can sit down."

The three boys settled themselves down on Louis' couch, and Louis couldn't help hugging Milky a little closer to his chest, not really prepared for what was going to happen. He'd never be ready to talk about Harry. "Before you start lecturing me, Harry and I have only seen each other in person twice and all we want to do is be friends."

"Okay." Liam leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his fingers laced together. "How are you feeling, though? Are you okay with all of this?"

"I'm okay." 

"You looked really shocked when you saw him at the party, though," Niall said. "Like you were going to pass out."

Louis sat up a little. "Okay, well, obviously it was a big shock to me when I first saw him after three years. He looked really different and everything, plus I hadn't been expecting him to be there. But after I got over the shock, I was fine. Harry and I dated for a really long time, we're obviously compatible and we'd be great friends."

"How's it going with Lucas, by the way?" Zayn piped up.

"It's going alright. We went on our second date a day or two ago."

"Second date?" Liam's eyes widened. "Whoa, you must really like this guy."

"Mm."

Zayn squinted at him. "You _do_ really like this guy, right?"

"Of course."

"Louis."

"Yes?"

"We know you're still in love with Harry."

Louis' nostrils flared up. "I'm not -"

"Louis."

"I'm not!"

"Okay, okay, chill out, guys." Niall shushed them. "Zayn, you talk first."

Zayn turned his body so he was fully facing Louis. "It's obvious you're still in love with Harry, you never stopped loving him. You don't go on any second dates with anyone because you're unconsciously still holding out for Harry. I know you, Louis. You still love him, and you should."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Liam chimed in, "That you and Harry are meant to be. You make a perfect couple. You guys dated for almost five years and you two were so happy together. You're soulmates, you're practically the other half of each other."

"Thanks for reminding me, Li," Louis said, staring at his lap.

"Sorry, Lou. I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that it makes sense for you to still be in love with him, you don't have to be ashamed of it."

Louis rolled his eyes. "I am _not_ in love with Harry. He may be the love of my life, but we're not compatible."

"You just _said_ , and I quote, that you and Harry were 'obviously compatible'!" Niall exclaimed.

Louis put a hand on his forehead. "I meant we'd be compatible as friends. We're not compatible as a couple, we broke up for a reason."

"You broke up because of Harry's drinking problem, which was an external factor and it doesn't mean you guys aren't a good couple," Zayn argued. "You said he's the love of your life, doesn't that mean you guys are meant to be?"

"He was and is the love of my life, but it doesn't mean I'm still in love with him or we should get back together," Louis maintained. "It doesn't have to be romantic. We had an incredible romantic connection, but we kind of burned that bridge when we broke up. It's useless to try and mend it. I'm happy to be friends with him, and I'm going to move on with Lucas." He wasn't in love with Harry. He couldn't be, that would be disastrous. Louis wasn't ready to delve into that possibility.

"Do you actually even _like_ Lucas?" Niall looked at him suspiciously. "I mean - he's a great guy and all, but do you even like him in that way?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yes! I like him, okay?"

"Okay, okay." Niall held his hands up in defeat. "I'm just saying, don't force yourself to date him if you don't want to."

"I'm not!" Well, he kinda was.

"Calm down, guys," Liam said.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Louis said, getting up from the couch and setting Milky down. "If we're done talking about Harry, do you want to go out for dinner?"

"Alright." The rest of the boys got up too, and Zayn slung an arm around Louis' shoulder. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Louis said grudgingly. "I know it's only because you guys care about me and whatnot."

"Just wanna make sure you're happy and you're not doing anything stupid." Liam bent down and gave Milky a few pats. "You can always talk to us about it if you want, Lou."

"Okay."

"Come on, let's forget about these grim topics and go get dinner!" Niall said, rubbing his stomach. "I'm starving. There's a new place downtown and I've been dying to try it."

"You've got to stop thinking about food all the time, Niall."

"Why would I ever do that?"

*****

It was 10:11pm a week later when Louis got a text from Harry.

They'd been texting ever since they quite literally bumped into each other two weeks ago, just friendly conversations scattered here and there, and each time Louis got a notification from Harry his heart jumped a little, although he told himself it meant nothing. He was _not_ in love with Harry. Not again.

This time, the text read, _can we facetime?_

Louis glanced at himself in the reflection of his phone, deeming that he didn't look too much of a mess. He texted back a _sure_ and a few seconds later, his phone rang. He answered the FaceTime request and propped his phone up on his desk as the image of Harry popped up on the screen.

"Hi, Louis!"

"Hey, H. What's up?"

"Nothing much, I'm just bored and want someone to talk to." Louis recognized the familiar scene of their old living room behind Harry. "What are you doing?"

"Not much, just working." He lifted up his laptop and showed the screen to Harry for a few brief seconds before setting it back down on his desk again.

"Where's Milky?" Harry appeared to be sitting on their - _his_ \- couch, wrapped in a blanket and looking adorable. "Can I see her, please?"

"Sure." Louis spun around in his chair, trying to figure out where his puppy had gone to. "Why?"

"Because she's adorable! And I love her already even though I only met her for a few minutes."

"Milky!" Louis called after he couldn't see her anywhere in his study. He heard the sounds of light footsteps and the puppy appeared in his doorway. "C'mere." The puppy ran towards him and Louis picked her up, lifting her onto his desk so he could show her to Harry and waving her paw. 

"Awww," Harry cooed, voice going soft and high-pitched. "Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy?"

Milky barked and tried to lick Louis' phone screen, so Louis quickly pulled her away and settled her down onto his lap. "What are you doing right now?"

"Calling you."

"And?"

"Looking at your puppy."

"And?"

"Nothing, Louis, I really have nothing to do."

Louis turned back to his laptop. "Don't you have work to do? Or TV to watch?"

"Well, yeah, but I wanted to talk to you!" Harry said brightly. "I haven't talked to you face-to-face in ages."

"Only a week, love," Louis said, mentally slapping himself when the pet name slipped out of his mouth.

"I guess a week isn't that much compared to three years," Harry said, voice so quiet Louis could barely hear him and pretended to not hear him at all. Harry said in a louder voice, "So, what are you working on? Are you working on a big case that'll win you millions?"

Louis huffed out a laugh and shook his head. "Nope. Just working on a teeny tiny case for a client."

"Is your client a millionaire or something?"

"Maybe." Louis wasn't exactly supposed to disclose information about his clients, but Harry had never been too nosy about them.

"I knew it." Harry wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You're going to earn a big fat check when it's over, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

"You lucky duck, no wonder you can afford that fancy apartment, it would be fun to have so much space," Harry said. Louis didn't mention that even though he really loved his current apartment, he missed his and Harry's old one. They had made so many memories there.

"It's a bit of a nightmare when I need to clean things up though, with all the space," Louis said as he typed away on his laptop.

"I don't remember you ever being big on cleaning. Do you clean your own apartment?"

"Not really," Louis admitted sheepishly. "I mean, of course I'll vacuum here and there but I've never really cleaned the entire house properly. I hire someone to come in once in a while for that."

"I guessed as much," Harry said, amused. "Have your cooking skills improved at all? I remember you burning down the kitchen and making crappy food every time you tried to cook."

"Hey!" Louis feigned his offendedness. "Don't you remember when I cooked you chicken wrapped in -"

"Parma ham with a side of homemade mash." Harry finished Louis' sentence for him. "Yeah, I remember. You wouldn't shut up about it."

Louis blushed slightly. "Anyway, I'm still not the best cook but I can make myself a basic meal." Since Harry was a chef, Louis had never really needed to develop proper cooking skills, but he'd tried his best to improve his skills over the last three years.

"You're going to have to cook for me sometime, I want to see how much you've improved."

"You're going to be extremely disappointed, H."

"Doesn't matter, you'll cook for me, right?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Mm, if you want. You can come over sometime." Louis wondered where he'd gotten the bravery to invite Harry over. "Or maybe I can come over to your apartment. I'd like to see what you've done with the place."

"It's really not that different at all, I liked it the way it was so I didn't change much about it, except maybe a few little things." Harry turned the phone around a little to give Louis a quick view of his living room. "When are you free?"

"I'll check my calendar for you later. Just a warning, though, I need a few days to practice cooking a meal before I cook for you." Louis stifled a yawn, already a little tired even though it was quite early in the night. "Give me a week."

"Fine." Harry pouted a little. "Also, do you want to go watch a movie with me? I hear they're showing the 1998 _Godzilla_ at the theaters."

"You know I don't like that movie."

"Exactly. We can go watch it and I'll listen to all of the complaints you have about it," Harry suggested. "What do you say?"

"Sorry, H, but I just watched it recently with someone," Louis said apologetically. "We can go watch another movie together."

Harry's expression turned a little grim. "Did you watch it with Lucas?"

Louis shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Uh, yeah."

Harry's face darkened even more. "Just a friend, huh?"

"Just a friend." Why was Harry being so weird about it?

Harry studied Louis for a few seconds. "We can still catch a movie together, right?"

"Sure."

"Okay, I'll go see what else is showing." Harry disappeared out of sight from the screen while he went to get his laptop. "When are you free? Can you check your calendar now?"

"Oh, alright." Louis opened up a new tab on his browser and typed in the name of the online calendar he used. "Um, the earliest I'm free is... Sunday. Tomorrow."

"I'm free too, I think," Harry said while he powered on his laptop. "So tomorrow? Are you okay with that?"

"I'm okay with it. You can pick a movie, I really don't mind much."

"You sure?"

"Mhmm." Louis stifled another yawn and Milky copied him, yawning and stretching in his lap. Louis giggled and scratched behind Milky's ears, returning his focus to his work.

"It's only ten, are you that tired already?" Harry stopped looking at his laptop and smiled fondly at Louis. "Although, you were always sleepy all the time."

"Not a very good trait for someone who always has to work late, huh?" Louis rubbed his eyes and laid his head down on his desk. "Maybe I'll take a nap for fifteen minutes so I'll be a little more awake."

"You say fifteen minutes, but you'll end up sleeping for five hours before you wake up and you know it," Harry said matter-of-factly. 

"Well, you're here. You'll wake me up in fifteen minutes, won't you?" Louis felt his eyelids get heavier.

"I'll try my best to wake you up through a phone screen," Harry promised. "Go to sleep, Lou."

Louis didn't even think about the fact that Harry would be watching him sleep and closed his eyes, cuddling Milky close to his chest and letting his exhaustion take over. He was woken up at the promised fifteen minutes later by an air horn blasting at him through his phone, making him jump up, startled. "What the hell?!"

Harry, holding an air horn, waved at Louis through the phone screen and Milky barked repeatedly, turning around to try to find the source of the noise. "Wakey wakey, Louis."

"Why would you do that?" Louis placed a hand on his heart, feeling it thrum against his chest. "You gave me a heart attack!"

Harry grinned innocently. "You wouldn't wake up when I said your name so I got an air horn. Besides, aren't you wide awake and ready to work now?"

Louis rolled his eyes. "Why do you even have an air horn?"

Harry shrugged. "I just happen to have one. Enjoy your nap?"

"Up until you woke me up with an air horn," Louis grumbled. He snapped his fingers at Milky, who was still on alert. "C'mere, Milky, there's no danger, it's just stupid Harry with his stupid air horn."

"Hey!" Harry put his hands on his hips. "I had to use it, you weren't waking up."

"Ugh, whatever." Louis stroked Milky in an effort to calm her down. "Have you picked a movie yet?"

"They're showing _Love, Actually_ tomorrow afternoon, wanna go for it?" Harry set the air horn down and picked his laptop up to show to Louis. "We can get popcorn and cheese over all of the couples."

"Seriously? We've watched that movie so many times."

"Come on, we both love it! Plus, we watched it so many times on DVD, imagine how fun it'll be to watch it in the cinema for the full immersive experience."

"Alright, go for it." Louis sat back down in his chair again. "How much are the tickets? I'll pay you back."

"You don't need to, I'll pay for your ticket," Harry offered.

"Harry, I'm going to get a big fat check for the tiny case I'm finishing up right now. I think I can afford to pay for a movie ticket."

"It's not about you being able to afford things, it's about being nice," Harry protested. "Really, Louis, you don't need to pay me back. Your company is payment enough for me."

Louis scoffed. "That is _so_ cheesy. I'm paying you back, how much do the tickets cost?"

"Lou!" Harry complained. " _I'm_ paying for both of our tickets! Stop trying to take this from me!" 

Louis huffed. "Fine. But I'm paying for the popcorn."

"Fine." Harry dragged out the 'e'. "I'll pay for the tickets now, okay?"

"Okay."

"You're still working right now, right?" Harry grabbed his credit card from the coffee table and typed a few numbers into his laptop.

"Yeah."

Harry bit his lip. "Am I bothering you?"

Louis gave Harry a reassuring smile. "No, you're not. I'm the one who should be worried about bothering you and wasting your time - I'm sure there's plenty of other people who could participate in a much more lively conversation with you and aren't working on a Saturday night."

"I wanted to talk to you, though." Something in Harry's voice made Louis' heart thump, but he brushed it away. "Plus, I like watching you work."

Louis furrowed his eyebrows. "What? Why? It must be the most boring experience ever."

"It's nice to just sit here and admire what you're like," Harry said, chuckling a little afterwards. "That sounds a bit creepy, doesn't it? I'll hang up and let you work in peace if you want."

"I really don't mind, Harry. You can do what you want."

"Um, can we still stay on the call? Like we don't have to talk, you can work and I'll just go find a book or something and read, it's nice to have some company even though it's through a phone screen," Harry babbled. "Only if it's okay with you of course -"

"Harry," Louis interrupted. "I'm okay with it."

"Okay," Harry said, relieved and getting up to find a book. "Okay."

*****

It was 3:15pm when Harry knocked on Louis' door.

"Coming!" Louis said, getting up from the couch and walking over to the door. It would've been closer for Harry if they met up at the cinema, but Harry wanted to come over to Louis' apartment and say hello to Milky, because he was a giant softie and _of course_ he would want to specially come over and say hello to a puppy.

"Hi!" Harry said brightly when Louis opened the door. He was holding a single sunflower and held it out to Louis. "Here, this is for you."

"Um, thanks?" Louis was slightly confused as he took the flower from Harry, although his heart was melting. What was Harry doing?

"Passed by the florist's on the way here and it reminded me of you," Harry said, pointing at the sunflower. "So I got one for you. I hope you don't mind."

Louis laughed. "Why would I mind you getting a flower for me? It's very sweet, Harry. Thanks."

Milky had hopped off the couch and waddled towards Harry, barking happily at the sight of her new friend. Harry knelt down and let Milky cuddle him and lick him all over, nearly falling over from the ferocity of Milky's excitement. Louis watched the pair fondly, walking into the kitchen to grab a vase for his sunflower. "When does the movie start?"

"In like twenty minutes."

"We should get going then, right? I need to drop Milky off at Niall's, she's always alone at home and I think she'd be happier with Niall." Louis filled the vase with water and popped the flower in. "Are you and Milky done?"

"Um..." Milky was still in Harry's lap, yapping away.

"Milky! Come here, stop that," Louis ordered. Milky whined and hopped off Harry's lap, walking over to Louis and sitting down next to his feet.

Harry got himself up from the floor and dusted himself off. "Let's get going?"

"Yeah, just wait a sec." Louis left the vase on the kitchen counter and grabbed his phone, wallet and keys from the coffee table. "Grab a hold of Milky for me, won't you? I don't want to run around the apartment looking for her with my shoes on."

"Milky!" Harry slapped his thighs. "C'mere, you cutie." Milky obediently waddled over to Harry and Harry picked her up. "You ready to go?"

"Just need to put on my shoes," Louis said, walking towards the door and slipping his feet into a pair of Vans. "Okay, let's go."

They exited Louis' building and went into Niall's one, riding the lift up to the blonde's floor and knocking on his door. Niall received Milky with a huge grin, but eyed Louis and Harry warily. "You guys are just going to go watch a movie, right?"

"Yes."

"Nothing else, right?"

"I don't know, we could walk around and go window shopping after the movie," Harry said, handing Milky over to Niall.

Niall squinted at them. "Don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Those are two conflicting statements, Ni," Louis said, amused.

"Shut up, you know what I mean. Have fun, you two." Niall gave them one last wary stare and closed the door.

As promised, Louis bought the popcorn for both of them and they shuffled into their seats. Louis was freezing cold so he slipped on a giant hoodie over the top of his sweater, which was admittedly a little too much thick fabric piled over each other. Harry snickered a little and Louis glared at him. "What?"

"You look like a pudgy snowman with so many clothes on."

"Shut up, Harry. I _will_ throw popcorn at you."

"Don't you dare, pudgy snowman. You look really squishy and funny right now, I wish I had my camera with me so I could take a picture." Harry had always been a bit of an amateur photographer.

"Harry!"

"Shh, the movie's starting."

Sure enough, the lights in the theater dimmed and the giant screen lit up. Louis settled into his comfortable seat, forgetting about getting mad at Harry and preparing to enjoy the movie he and Harry had watched countless times together. Louis was leaning on his right arm and Harry was leaning on his left, which meant that their faces were a little too close. Louis didn't notice, though, too engrossed in the movie and too used to Harry's face being so close. He also didn't mind that Harry was practically breathing on him and he could smell Harry's cologne, all of these sensations so familiar to him.

They were in a theater with other people, so they couldn't constantly point out or gush over things in the movie like they usually would have done, but Harry would occasionally whisper comments in Louis' ear and Louis would whisper back, mumbling back and forth until they spoke too loudly and someone would smack the back of their seats and tell them to shut up.

They emerged from the cinema two hours and a half later, yawning and stretching. It was six o' clock, around dinnertime, but both Louis and Harry had stuffed themselves with popcorn and wouldn't be eating another meal anytime soon.

"Do you wanna go window shopping now?" Harry asked. "You know, walk the popcorn off."

"It's going to take a lot of walking to walk all of this off," Louis said, patting his stomach. Maybe it was a mistake buying the largest bucket of popcorn. "But okay, I don't have much to do anyway."

They'd only walked for ten minutes when Harry tugged on Louis' sleeve and pointed to a sign. "Look, there's an ice skating rink. Wanna skate?"

"Right after eating so much popcorn?"

"Come on, Lou, it's not the most vigorous exercise. And it's fun! Please?" Harry gave Louis his best puppy eyes, and who was Louis to refuse? 

"Oh, alright."

They paid the entrance fee, borrowed some skates and got out onto the ice, which was pretty empty. Harry was already a little wobbly and was gripping onto Louis' arm tightly as they stepped into the rink.

"Have your skating skills improved? Or are you going to fall over on your ass the entire time?" Louis smirked a little when Harry let go of Louis' arm and nearly fell over. "I'm going to take a guess and say it's the latter."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to do anything but fall over while I'm skating," Harry said, grabbing hold of the railing. "I'm physically incapable of it."

"Why'd you want to go skating, then?"

"Because I'd like to convince myself that one of these days I'll actually be able to skate." Harry pulled himself up on the railing.

"Not today, it seems, though." Louis held out his hands for Harry to grab.

"We went skating on our first date, do you remember?" Harry grabbed Louis' hands tightly at Louis paled a little at the mention of their first date.

"Uh, yeah. I remember you falling down the entire time, which is exactly what's going to happen now. Eight years and you haven't improved a bit, have you?"

"I'm trying to improve!" Harry protested. "Now, just don't let go of me and we'll be okay." Louis let go of Harry's hands and Harry immediately slipped and slammed into the floor, groaning. "What did I _just_ say?"

"Just wanted to see what would happen if I did let you go," Louis suppressed a laugh and held out his hands again.

"I don't remember you being so mean on our first date," Harry huffed, taking Louis' hands. 

"I'm the only thing that's making sure you don't fall down right now, Harry, I think it would be unwise to insult me."

"Fine, fine. You're the kindest, sweetest, nicest, most generous person I've ever met and I'll never meet anyone as wonderful as you ever again."

"Much better." Louis pulled Harry up and shrieked when Harry made no move to support himself and simply let his body weight fall onto Louis, making both Louis and Harry fall over again, Harry's body crushing Louis'. "Harry!" Harry had suddenly become quiet, not saying a word, his eyes focused on something. Louis could feel Harry's heartbeat against his, and his eyes widened when he saw that Harry's eyes were focused on his lips. Harry leaned a little closer and Louis, afraid that he wouldn't stop Harry if he actually kissed him, screeched, "Harry! You're crushing me!"

Harry's eyes shot up from Louis' lips and he cleared his throat. "Sorry, sorry."

Louis' face felt hot as Harry got off him and Louis stood up, helping Harry get up too. His heart was rabbiting so fast in his chest and he was sure his face was bright red. "I, uh, just remembered, I've got to go home and um, finish the case for tomorrow."

"We just got to the rink, Louis." Something in Harry's voice made Louis panic even more. 

"I know, I-I'm sorry, you can stay and continue skating if you want b-but I've got to go," Louis said quickly. "I've got to finish the case so I can get that big fat check, huh?" Louis cringed at his own words. Why was he such an idiot?

Harry tilted his head. "You really have to go?"

"Um, yeah." Louis fidgeted with the bottom of his sweater.

"Okay." Harry looked so disappointed that Louis almost wanted to stay, but he had to go before he did something stupid like kiss Harry. 

"S-sorry, Harry," Louis mumbled, skating towards the exit.

"You're still cooking for me next week, right?" Harry called after him.

Louis turned around and flashed Harry a weak smile. "Yeah, of course."

"Good." Harry's sad stare crushed Louis' heart. "See you."

"Yeah, see you." Louis left the rink and took off his skates, returning them and walking as fast as he could out of the mall. As soon as he was sure Harry couldn't see him anymore, he buried his head in his hands. What was wrong with him?

*****

It was 7:20pm when Louis was waiting outside of a restaurant for Lucas.

After the incident on Sunday, Louis had tried to ignore his jumbled feelings that had arisen in him. There was no way Harry had been about to kiss him and there was no way Louis had been about to let him. Louis wasn't in love with Harry. He couldn't be.

In order to try to ignore the mess that was his feelings, Louis had asked Lucas out on a third date. It may have been a dumb move on his part but he was convinced that as long as he spent some time with Lucas, he'd realize that he loved Lucas, not Harry.

It was a Wednesday evening and Lucas had said he'd be a little late because he had stayed a bit later at his school to finish marking some papers. Louis didn't really mind but he was getting a little chilly and hungry standing outside of the restaurant. His phone vibrated in his pocket so he took it out, expecting a text from Lucas, but saw a notification from Harry instead.

Louis had been texting Harry like he usually would with a playful and friendly tone, pretending like nothing had happened and he hadn't left abruptly on Sunday. Pretending like Harry hadn't been about to kiss Louis.

_[harry - 19:21] is saturday okay?_

_[louis - 19:21] okay for what?_

_[harry - 19:21] you coming over and cooking for me  
_ _[harry - 19:21] remember?_

_[louis - 19:22] yeah  
_ _[louis - 19:22] i'm free  
_ _[louis - 19:22] i'll come over at 5:30?_

_[harry - 19:22] okay  
_ _[harry - 19:22] need me to buy any ingredients for you?_

Louis was about to type a reply when someone tapped him on the shoulder and he flinched a little, looking up. Lucas was standing in front of him and waved his fingers. "Hey, Louis. Did you have to wait long?"

"Uh, no, not at all! Shall we go in?" Louis turned off his phone and slipped it back into his pocket shivering slightly when Lucas wrapped an arm around his waist and led him into the restaurant. It was the same one they'd gone to on their first date and they were seated at a table near the window. The waiter handed them their menus and Louis scanned over it, trying to ignore the buzzing in his pocket that was probably Harry bugging him for an answer.

"Your phone's buzzing a lot," Lucas noted. "Is it work? Do you need to answer?"

Louis shook his head. "No, it's just a friend texting. I can answer him later."

"You can answer him now, if you want, I really don't mind," Lucas said.

"You sure?" Louis looked up from his menu. "We're on a date."

"I don't want to be that kind of guy, you can answer him if you want to," Lucas said good-naturedly. 

"Okay." Louis returned his eyes to the menu. After a few minutes, they ordered their meals and Louis finally took his phone out to answer Harry. As he'd guessed, he had a bunch of unread messages from Harry - in fact, he had about ten of them.

_[harry - 19:34] answer me, i can see you read my last message  
_ _[harry - 19:34] so do you?  
_ _[harry - 19:34] louis  
_ _[harry - 19:34] louisss  
_ _[harry - 19:35] LOUEH  
_ _[harry - 19:35] stop ignoring me you MEANIE  
_ _[harry - 19:35] tell me so i can get some ingredients at work for you if you need it  
_ _[harry - 19:35] don't you dare do this you pudgy snowman  
_ _[harry - 19:35] WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING RN IT'S NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME AND YOU COOKING FOR ME  
_ _[harry - 19:35] louis :(  
_ _[harry - 19:36] btw you'll bring milky on saturday right?_

Louis couldn't help chuckling fondly at Harry's texts, imagining the pout on Harry's face when he'd sent the messages and his heart narrowly avoided exploding as he typed in some replies.

_[louis - 19:40] i'm on a date idiot  
_ _[louis - 19:40] not sure about ingredients, i'll get back to you later  
_ _[louis - 19:40] and yes i'll bring milky if you want  
_ _[louis - 19:40] you're going to have to take care of her while i cook though_

_[harry - 19:41] on a date with lucas?_

_[louis - 19:41] yep_

_[harry - 19:41] oh  
[harry - 19:41] okay_

Louis frowned slightly.

_[louis - 19:42] what is that supposed to mean?_

Harry was still typing, but Louis turned his phone off and put it back into his pocket, smiling apologetically at Lucas. "Sorry about that."

"You don't have to apologize for answering your texts, Louis, it's honestly totally fine." The way Lucas was looking at him with a sort of lovestruck look in his eyes made Louis squirm. He wasn't supposed to feel like that, was he?

"So, uh, how was your day?"

"It was alright, I gave my class an assessment today which is why I had to stay late grading papers," Lucas explained. "I sort of promised them I'd give them their assessments back tomorrow."

"Oh, really?" Louis averted his eyes, still uncomfortable under Lucas' stare. "I always liked it when my teachers marked my papers and gave them back a few days after the assessment."

"Yeah? A few of my students don't like it, they hate getting their results so soon."

Louis shrugged. "It's better to get your marks back while you still remember what the test was about. I've had teachers give us our results back months later and I had forgotten everything about the test."

"Mm, that's true."

Louis' phone buzzed a few more times in his pockets and Louis tried his best to ignore it as the waiter came back with their food and set their plates down on their table. Halfway through dinner, Louis' phone was still buzzing occasionally and Louis wondered if he should just put it on silent.

"Your friend's texting you a lot," Lucas observed, his tone a little more frosty than it had been before. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh, uh, we were talking about Saturday before but I don't know what he's talking about now, he could honestly go on and on even when I haven't replied to him yet," Louis answered, remembering all the times he'd muted his phone then came back to an overwhelming pile of texts from Harry.

"What's happening on Saturday?"

"I'm going over to our - I mean, I'm going over to his apartment to cook for him." It had been three years and Louis still couldn't stop accidentally referring to Harry's apartment as _their_ apartment. 

"That's kind of weird. Wouldn't it make more sense if he came over to your flat and you could cook in your own kitchen?"

"Yeah, I guess so, but I also wanted to see what he'd done to the apartment. We haven't talked and I haven't been there in years."

"Do you mean you used to live there or something?" Lucas took a sip of his wine.

"I used to live there, yeah." He'd also bought the apartment, did all the decorating, and made about three years' worth of happy memories there.

"So you were roommates?"

Louis felt a blush creep up onto his cheeks. "I guess you could say that."

"That's nice." Lucas propped his elbows up on the table. "Reuniting with an old roommate."

"Mm."

"I need to use the bathroom," Lucas said, getting up from his seat. "You can just keep eating without me, I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay." Louis decided to use the time Lucas was gone to answer Harry's texts, and took his phone out again. 

_[harry - 19:43] it doesn't mean anything  
[harry - 19:45] well  
[harry - 19:46] i'm a bit jealous i guess  
[harry - 19:47] i'm a little jelly  
[harry - 19:55] are you ignoring me again?  
[harry - 19:55] i'm sorry_

Louis swallowed. Harry was jealous of Lucas?

_[louis - 20:00] i'm not ignoring you  
_ _[louis - 20:00] why would you be jealous?_

_[harry - 20:01] well you know i've always been a bit jealous whenever you hang out with someone else  
[harry - 20:01] sorry if that sounds weird  
[harry - 20:01] you're not mine anymore so i don't have the right to be jealous  
[harry - 20:02] old habits die hard i guess  
[harry - 20:02] wait  
[harry - 20:02] i shouldn't have said that when you're on a date with him  
[harry - 20:02] i'm sorry i'll stop texting you now_

Louis didn't even bother typing back a response, eyebrows furrowed as he felt his heart made several confusing flips in his rib cage. Was Harry actually jealous of Lucas? Harry had always been a little jealous and possessive but that was when they were dating, and they weren't anymore. Harry didn't want Louis now. Did he?

_You're not mine anymore._

Louis stared intently at the words displayed across the screen. He couldn't tell what Harry meant by them. Did Harry want Louis to be his again? Or was he glad to be rid of him? And what was Louis going to do if Harry _did_ want Louis? Would Louis take him back?

Louis bit his lip. He had to admit that he'd missed Harry in the past three years, and it had made him happy when Harry had suddenly come back into his life. He'd missed the cheesy, goofy dork with the criminally adorable smile, he'd missed their little talks in the middle of the night, he missed his curls and his smell and his hugs and his kisses and everything about him.

But did Louis _love_ him? No. He couldn't. They'd both hurt each other in so many ways and Louis had always thought they would be better off apart. No matter how much Louis had missed him in those three years, Louis had been convinced that they were no longer the best choice for each other. But now Harry was back, looking so much like he had in university when Louis had first met him, with his chocolate curls and cute dimples, reminding Louis of the times before Harry had started getting drunk all the time. Louis had left a few months after Harry's alcoholism started, but before that there had been years and years of happy, sweet memories. Harry had been there for Louis through so many important stages of his life and of course Louis cared about him, but he couldn't _love_ him, he was supposed to be moving on with Lucas. Louis couldn't stop thinking about Harry, though, about how they'd always fall asleep together cuddling, and how they'd always say "I love you" before bed no matter what, and how Harry would wake up at ungodly hours in the morning just to make Louis a packed lunch, and-

It hit Louis like a pile of bricks. Did Louis love Harry? What a dumb question. Of course he did. _Of course he did._

He breathed heavily as the realization slammed into him. Of course he loved Harry. He always had. Louis thought that he'd stopped loving Harry after they'd broken up, and that all of the feelings he'd felt whenever he thought about Harry or seen him was just caring, or sentiment, or some sort of muscle memory. Did he even have muscle memory for emotions? Anyway, whatever he _thought_ he had been feeling, it hadn't been love. He'd convinced himself that he didn't love Harry, because if he did - how disastrous would that be? But now he couldn't convince himself anymore and waves of love, adoration, and sadness that he didn't have Harry anymore washed over him.

And yet, here he was, sitting in a restaurant in the middle of a date with someone else. What was he even doing on a date with someone else? Louis suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He'd been a fool to think he could love Lucas and forget about Harry. It felt like he was betraying Harry, and, even worse, he felt so guilty for leading Lucas on when he loved someone else.

At that precise moment, Lucas returned from the bathroom and Louis paled. Going on a date to try to forget about Harry had been a bad, bad, idea. What had he been thinking? It was too much for him and Louis' heart started racing, standing up abruptly at the same time Lucas sat back down in his seat. He couldn't do this.

"Louis?" Lucas looked up at him. "Are you okay? You look a bit pale."

"I, uh, I've got to go." Louis wiped his mouth on his napkin. "I'm so sorry, I-"

"Did something happen while I was gone?" Lucas asked, confused.

"I, uh." Louis' words came out between short spurts of breath. "I've got to go, I can't be here right now." He fumbled around for his wallet and pulled out several dollar bills, setting it on the table. "Here's the money for my food, I'm so, _so_ sorry but I have to go, I'll call you, I'm so sorry."

"Louis?" Lucas called, bewildered as Louis practically ran out of the restaurant. Louis felt even worse now for abandoning Lucas there, but he knew he couldn't have gotten through the rest of their date knowing what he knew now. That he _loved_ Harry.

He speed-walked to his car and got in, driving home in an almost trance-like state, heart still pounding in his chest and his brain filled with jumbled feelings about _HarryHarryHarry_. He didn't even bother giving Milky some attention like he usually did when he walked through his front door, resulting in a slightly hurt and sad puppy that followed close behind him, barking. 

Louis was already overwhelmed by Harry and Lucas, and Milky's barking wasn't helping, so he snapped, "Milky, quiet!" Milky whined, wounded, and stopped barking, instead opting to sit patiently a few feet away from Louis. Louis placed his hands on the countertop and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. When he opened his eyes again, guilt for snapping at Milky added itself to the pile of complicated emotions weighing on top of him, and he sighed, kneeling down. "I'm sorry, Milky, I'm not mad at you. Come here, sweetie."

Milky waddled towards him and a brief smile crossed Louis' face as he let himself be comforted by his little puppy, sitting on the floor in his suit and letting the puppy lick his cheek and cuddle him. At least he wasn't alone. At least there was that.

*****

It was 5:31pm when Louis arrived outside his old apartment.

Over the couple of days following his ruined date with Lucas and his big epiphany, Louis had managed to gather his feelings and figure them out. He loved Harry with everything he had, so much that it made his heart ache - he knew that now, but he couldn't do anything about it. Harry had a girlfriend, didn't he? He'd moved on, and Louis wasn't about to ruin another one of Harry's relationships. Besides, he was afraid that if he did do anything about his feelings, he'd lose Harry's friendship almost as suddenly as he'd got it.

On Thursday afternoon, the day after the date, Louis had called Lucas, hoping to explain everything. He'd dreaded it, but he knew he had to do it, or else it would have been incredibly unfair for Lucas. He was packing up his things at work when he decided to call, sitting in his giant chair and hoping that Lucas wasn't busy. Sure enough, Lucas answered his call and Louis braced himself for an extremely angry Lucas. "Hey, Lucas."

"Hey, Louis. Are you alright? You seemed really panicked last night. What happened?"

"Um, about that..." Louis scratched his eyebrow. "I think, uh, I think we should stop seeing each other." There was silence on the other end of the line, and Louis tacked on, "I think we should stop seeing each other, at least romantically. I'm so sorry for leading you on for three dates, but it's just not really clicking for me."

There was some more silence, and Lucas said, "Okay. Okay, I get that."

Louis was a little surprised at how calm Lucas sounded. "You're okay with that?"

"Uh huh, maybe I was expecting this, especially after last night. You do seem a little cold with me, and it's such a shame, I like you a lot." Louis could hear some bustling behind Lucas, and guessed he was still at work. "But if you really don't feel anything, there's no point."

"I'm so sorry."

"No, don't apologize, Louis." Lucas chuckled slightly. "It's not your fault you feel that way. I do want to know, though, what happened last night?"

"Well..." Louis' voice lowered a bit. "That roommate I told you about? We sort of... dated for five years. And when we were texting I pretty much realized that I still loved him."

"I see." Louis was impressed by how well Lucas seemed to be handling everything. "I suppose you're going to pursue him now?"

"No, he's taken and I don't think he loves me anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lucas said sympathetically.

"Thanks." Louis felt relieved - he'd been expecting to get yelled at. "Do you think we can stay friends? I don't like you in _that_ way, but I do like you."

"Of course! I'd love that. Thank you for being so honest, by the way. You're a good guy, Louis, I hope you figure everything out with your ex."

"Me too."

So now Louis was standing outside Harry's door on a Saturday afternoon as promised, a bag of groceries over his shoulder and Milky on her leash next to him. He'd practiced cooking a few times at home, and although he wasn't exactly confident in himself, he felt ready. He rung the doorbell and waited for Harry to open the door, preparing himself for seeing Harry and hoping he'd be able to act normally around him.

Harry opened the door and a huge smile and dimples immediately graced his face, making Louis' heart do a couple flips. "Hey, Louis! Hey, Milky!"

"Hey, H." Louis bent down to take Milky's leash off and she immediately ran into Harry's apartment, excited to explore.

"I'm expecting to be impressed by your cooking, Tomlinson," Harry said as he stepped aside to let Louis in. "You've practiced, right?"

"Once or twice, but don't get your hopes up. You're a professional chef, I doubt you're going to be impressed." Louis stepped in and took off his shoes. "You promise that you'll help me out if I started burning anything, right?"

"Just because I'm a professional chef doesn't mean I don't appreciate other people's food," Harry protested. "Of course I'll help you if you need it. What are you making?"

"There's only one possible dish I could make for you, Harry." Louis felt a wave of nostalgia hit him as he stepped into what used to be his home for three years. "Chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in Parma ham, with a side of homemade mash."

"Ooh, sounds exciting. I'm prepared to see how much you've improved since the time you made it for me so many years ago."

Louis set his groceries down on Harry's kitchen counter. "Probably not much, I haven't made it since, except for the two times I made it this week to practice." He pulled out a small bottle of red wine from his bag and handed it to Harry. "Here, I brought this. You said you can drink red wine, right?"

Harry took the bottle from him. "You brought wine? Fancy. Yeah, I guess I can drink this, doesn't look like a lot of alcohol."

" 'm gonna wine and dine you, Styles."

"I feel so privileged to be wined and dined by the one and only Louis Tomlinson," Harry said with an amused twinkle in his eyes. He set the bottle of wine down onto the countertop and looked around. "Where did that puppy of yours get to? You know what - never mind, I'll go find her myself. Do you want to start cooking first or look around the flat first?"

"Cook first, I guess," Louis said as he started taking things out of his grocery bag. "I can take a look around after dinner."

"Alright. I got you a few scraps from work, they're in the fridge if you want them. Just shout if you need me."

"What are you going to do now?" Louis set his ingredients across the counter and pulled up a recipe on his phone.

"I'm going to go play with Milky, of course," Harry said gleefully. "She's so cute!"

Louis rolled his eyes, but he couldn't deny the fact that Milky was the cutest puppy in the whole word - not like he was biased. "Okay, have fun."

"Oh, I _will_."

Louis shot him a weirded out look and shook his head fondly as Harry disappeared further into the flat, on a mission to find Milky. After realizing that he loved Harry and accepting all of the feelings he'd repressed for so long, it somehow hurt even more whenever Louis saw Harry. The green-eyed boy was so close, yet so far. What's more, he was taken, and Louis couldn't do anything about his love. Harry didn't want him, anyway.

Sighing, Louis grabbed an apron that was hanging in the kitchen and put it on, preheating the oven and looking at his phone for the instructions. He could faintly hear Harry's giggles and Milky's barks. If he hadn't left Harry, would that be what his life would be like? With an endearing boyfriend - or even a _husband_ \- and a little puppy, playing and having fun? If he hadn't left, would Louis be playing with them now?

He should really stop thinking about things like that, because it wasn't helping Louis feel happier. All he could do was stand in the sidelines with his heartbreak and pretend like he was okay with everything.

Louis' eyes scanned over the groceries set on the counter and decided to get started on the homemade mash first, so he grabbed the potatoes and rinsed and peeling them in the sink, hoping he wouldn't accidentally cut himself and make himself look stupid in front of Harry.

While the potatoes were boiling, Louis decided to take a break from cooking and see what Harry was up to. He made sure the water wasn't boiling too vigorously and left the kitchen, almost immediately spotting Harry and Milky in the living room, playing fetch with what looked like to be a balled up sock.

"Hi, Chef Louis!" Harry threw the sock and Milky chased after it. "How's it going? Do you need my help with anything?"

"Not really, just wanted to see what you guys were up to." Louis rested his arms against the top of the couch, cooing when Milky ran back with the sock in her mouth. "You're playing fetch with a sock?"

"Well, I don't have any dog toys, and Milky seems to enjoy it." Milky dropped the sock down next to Harry's feet and Harry petted her. "I've always wanted a dog."

"I know. We both wanted one, remember? We were going to get one together." Louis' heart clenched a little as he remembered their plans to get a puppy, but their plans had been disrupted when Harry's drinking started soon after.

"Mm. Don't know why I didn't get around to getting one." Harry threw the sock again and Milky bounded dutifully after it. "I guess after the, uh, breakup, it took me a while getting my life back together and I was more focused on getting my career back on track."

The atmosphere had turned a little somber with Harry looking a little sad as he talked, and Louis wanted to go over and comfort him, but he wondered if it was appropriate or not. Instead, he opted for saying, "Well, I'm glad you and Milky are having so much fun, I'll get back to making dinner."

"Good luck! Please don't burn the house down, I rather like this flat and its interior decorating," Harry said sweetly.

"Very encouraging, H." Louis lifted his arms off the couch and turned around to walk back into the kitchen.

"I'm just kidding, Lou, I know you'll do great! And if it tastes horrible, I'll pretend to love it."

It took Louis another hour and a half to finish making the meal, making several close calls to burning the potatoes - how did people multitask while cooking? He was also pretty bad at telling when the chicken was done, so he needed Harry to come over and poke the chicken once or twice to make sure they didn't eat underdone chicken. All in all, Louis was a relieved man when he finally finished cooking, plating up the chicken and potatoes and poking his head out of the kitchen to let Harry know he was done.

"These look delicious, Louis," Harry said brightly, grabbing a plate in each hand. "I don't know what you were so worried about."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, these may taste like crap." Louis had set aside some boiled potato chunks and chicken pieces for Milky's dinner, and he grabbed a random, shallow bowl to put them in. "And don't ask me to cook for you again."

Harry pouted. "You're ruining my dreams of being wined and dined by the one and only Louis Tomlinson."

"I _am_ wining and dining you right now!"

"Okay, and I'd like to come back for a second experience." Harry set the plates down onto his dining table. "I'll cook something for you next time, if you want."

"I'd like that." Louis followed Harry out of the kitchen with Milky's dinner in his hands, and Milky pawed at his feet, staring intently at the food. "Milky, sit." The puppy sat down reluctantly as Louis placed the bowl onto the floor, waiting for Louis to tell her it was safe to eat.

"She's so smart!" Harry squealed, clutching at his heart. "She's the cutest little puppy."

"I know, right?" Louis smirked proudly. "Okay, Milky. You can eat now." Milky practically pounced onto the bowl and buried her face into the chicken and potatoes. Louis slipped into the seat opposite of Harry, watching as Harry took out two wine glasses and opened the bottle of red wine Louis had brought. It was seven o' clock and Louis was sure he could hear his stomach grumbling, he was starving.

"Hungry?" Harry held back a laugh when Louis' stomach grumbled particularly loud, and Louis blushed.

"I haven't eaten anything since lunch."

"Neither have I, I'm hungry too." Harry finished pouring the wine and slid a glass over to Louis. "Okay, let's eat!"

Louis wolfed down the first several bites of chicken and potatoes, too hungry to really stop and notice what the food tasted like, although since neither he nor Harry spit their food out, he assumed it didn't taste that bad. After plowing through a quarter of the food on his plate, Louis finally remembered he was supposed to make conversation during dinner and asked, "How are your mum and Gemma, by the way?"

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Mum said you still talk to her and Gems."

"I do, just..." Louis felt a little embarrassed. "Not as often. I check in now and then. So how are they?"

"They're doing well, both of them. You know Gemma's engaged, right?"

"Yes! She told me a few months back and invited me to her wedding," Louis said excitedly. "I can't wait, it'll be fun!"

"Well, it's less fun for me, I'm helping them plan their wedding and it's so complicated." Harry made a face over his wine glass. "Of course, I am really happy for her."

"I thought you had your own wedding all planned out, can't you just use your ideas for Gemma's wedding?"

"No! Those are ideas for _my_ wedding, not hers," Harry insisted. "Gems can figure out what kind of flowers she wants by herself."

"What a lovely little brother." Louis shushed Harry before he could protest. "I'm just kidding, H, it's already very sweet of you to help Gems out, and you can keep your own wedding ideas for yourself."

"Good." Harry took a sip of his wine, his eyes still trained on Louis intently and making Louis' heart beat erratically. "The chicken is really good, by the way, Lou."

"I'd ask you if I've improved since the last time I made it for you, but I doubt you remember what a meal you ate eight years ago tasted like," Louis said, putting a bite of chicken in his mouth and chewing slower to savor the flavor.

"On the contrary, I do remember what it tasted like."

Louis raised an eyebrow. "How? That was eight years ago, Harry."

Harry shrugged. "I remember it because it was such a big day for me. My boyfriend, who had never cooked anything in his entire life, had offered to make me a meal and it had tasted delicious. It meant a lot to me, so I remember it well."

Louis' heart melted. Had one meal eight years ago really meant that much to Harry? "That's kind of sweet."

"It is, isn't it?"

Harry's eyes bore into Louis' with such intensity that Louis almost noticeably shivered. He'd forgotten how intense Harry's stares were, and how they always made Louis have goosebumps. "So, um, has my cooking improved at all?"

"A little. You were a little short on the seasoning last time." Harry ate another bite.

"Good to know I've improved, then." Louis felt happy to get the approval of someone who was actually a chef, even though he was pretty sure Harry was just being nice.

"Sorry about Wednesday, by the way." Harry's expression turned a little guilty.

"Wednesday?"

"You know, when I texted you during your date?" Harry looked like a kid caught red-handed stealing cookies from the kitchen.

"Oh." Louis' cheeks flushed, recalling the exact moment of his revelation a few days ago. "It's alright, Harry. You weren't bothering me, if you were I wouldn't have answered your texts."

"Yeah, but what I said..." Harry averted his gaze and instead watched Milky, who was licking at her empty bowl. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't ruin anything."

"You didn't," Louis said gently. Technically, Harry _had_ ruined his and Lucas' relationship, but in a good way, making Louis realize that Lucas wasn't the one for him. 

"How are you and Lucas doing, then?" Harry's voiced sounded a little strained, and Louis had guessed it was because Harry was jealous of Lucas, although he found that hard to believe. Why would Harry be jealous of Lucas? He'd never even met the guy.

"We sort of called it quits," Louis said. "I realized I didn't like him in that way."

Harry's face seemed to brighten a little and his voice sounded almost happy when he said, "Really? I'm so sorry."

"It's not a big deal, we only went on a couple of dates," Louis said nonchalantly, sipping his wine and feeling the alcohol slowly seep into his system.

"I'm glad you're alright." Harry reached across the table and squeezed Louis' hand, making Louis' heartbeat increase rapidly at the contact. "I always want you to be happy."

*****

It was 8:40pm when Louis found the box.

They'd taken their time to eat dinner, and when they'd finished the stayed at the dining table and chatted for a spell while they finished off the small bottle of wine Louis had brought. By the time they'd finished, Louis was a little tipsy as he stood up and grabbed both of their plates to bring into the kitchen.

"Wait, Lou, I'll wash the dishes." Harry stood up automatically and held his hands out. "You cooked, it's only right that I wash the dishes."

Louis squinted at Harry for a few seconds, then decided that he'd better take Harry up on his offer because he didn't like washing up anyway. "Okay."

"You can have a look around the flat and see what's changed while I do the washing up," Harry said, taking the plates from Louis.

"You better not have changed too much, my interior decorating was wonderful." Louis stretched a little and yawned, covering his mouth.

"I told you I didn't change much, I liked it the way it was." Harry started walking towards the kitchen.

"Am I allowed into your bedroom?"

"Sure." Harry disappeared into the kitchen and Louis could hear the tap start running. Milky was sniffing the collection of shoes near the door and Louis went to retrieve her.

"Come on, Milky, let's do some exploring," he said, patting his thigh to get her attention. Milky trotted behind him faithfully as Louis wandered around the flat.

The couch, coffee table, and rug in the living room were the same, although the pile of DVDs in the cupboard had changed and the TV had been upgraded to a better model. There was a shelf that was solely dedicated to pictures, and Louis walked over to look at them, expecting to see some new pictures from the past three years. To his shock, though, the picture shelf looked almost exactly the same, save a few added pictures of some of Harry's newer achievements. Why hadn't Harry changed any of the pictures? It wasn't like Louis expected him to have revamped everything, but more than three quarters of the pictures were of Louis and Harry. There were several pictures of them kissing, several pictures of them giving each other lovesick look - for God's sake, there were even several of Louis' baby pictures on the shelf.

Louis would've expected Harry to have removed the pictures of himself. Had Harry been living for the past three years in an apartment that contained more than half a dozen pictures of his ex? What would his girlfriend think of that? To be fair, Louis still kept a few pictures containing Harry framed in his flat, but this was different. These were intimate pictures, pictures that showed how in love they'd been with each other, pictures that would tear Louis apart with heartbreak if he saw them every day of his life.

Milky had gotten bored of Louis standing there for so long and had decided to move on, waddling past Louis into another part of the room. Louis took one last glance at the shelf and move on too, deciding that whatever pictures Harry kept framed were his business, and maybe he'd just forgotten to change them.

Louis continued ambling around the apartment, realizing that Harry wasn't lying when he said he hadn't changed much about the apartment. It was almost the same as when Louis left, which somehow comforted him because he hated change. This apartment had been his haven for three years and he was glad that it still felt like home.

He finally made it to Harry's bedroom, which he was a little anxious to enter. Out of everything in the apartment, the bedroom was the most private room, and it had used to be his favorite place. He and Harry had made so many intimate, personal memories there, twisted in the bedsheets together and whispering secrets they'd never tell anyone else.

He opened the door and Milky ran in before him, making Louis chuckle slightly as he stepped in. He had to keep a close eye on her to make sure she didn't wreck any of Harry's things, but currently she was only sniffing away at the floor. Louis felt a tug at his heart when he took in the room, wistfully reminiscing all of the nights he'd spent there with the love of his life. The room smelled so much like Harry too - not only the smell of his cologne, but the familiar, warm scent of Harry. _Home._

Harry still slept on the same Queen-sized bed, and from the looks of the pillow, probably still slept on the right side of the bed. There still was a pillow on the left, though, and Louis recalled fondly how Harry would spoon Louis' pillow as a replacement whenever Louis wasn't there. He wondered if Harry still did that - cuddling a pillow to make up for the absence of his usual cuddle buddy.

Harry's closet door was slightly ajar and Louis couldn't help but peek in, wanting to see if Harry's fashion sense had changed much, although from the several outfits Louis had seen him wear, probably not. The closet was filled with funky, colorful clothes that wouldn't look good on anyone but Harry, plus many shirts and sweaters that had the dorkiest slogans and quotes on them. Louis was about to close the closet door when something caught his eye.

He frowned he reached a hand out to pull a sweater from a stack of clothes, unfolding it and holding it out to get a better look. It was a large, chunky lavender sweater with tiny flower patterns stitched onto the collar and sleeves. This was _his_ sweater. Louis' sweater. What was it doing in Harry's closet? Maybe Harry had somehow found the same sweater in the store and he'd bought it, but Louis was sure he'd gotten this at a thrift store and it wasn't exactly a popular commercial sweater. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen this sweater in his closet for ages and ages, nor had he worn it in a long time.

Then it hit him - _of course_. Three years ago, when Harry had sent Louis all of his belongings after their breakup, a few of Louis' sweaters had been missing. He'd noticed it, of course, but back then he hadn't really cared, too deep in his own sadness and heartbreak. He hadn't really given his missing sweaters much thought. 

Louis tore his eyes away from the lavender sweater and looked back at the pile where the sweater had been sitting on, recognizing several other of his old sweaters in the stack. So this was where his missing sweaters had been all this time, sitting in Harry's closet, but why did Harry want to keep some of Louis' clothes anyway? It gave Louis a thrill knowing that Harry had kept some of his clothes, a small flare of hope rising up in him, but he quickly pushed it back down. Maybe Harry had mistaken these sweaters for his own, or maybe he had some other reasonable explanation. Louis had to stop getting his hopes up.

He folded the lavender sweater neatly and put it back onto the pile, staring at his old sweaters for a few seconds before he shook himself out of it and closed the closet door, turning back to the rest of the room.

Louis let out a small laugh when he spotted Milky with half of her body under Harry's bed, investigating something under there. He was pretty sure it was dusty under the bed and he didn't want Milky to have a sneezing fit, so he knelt down next to her and carefully pulled her out from under the bed and onto his lap, brushing the traces of dust off her snout. "What's so interesting under the bed, huh?" He craned his neck to look under the bed, expecting to see nothing but darkness and dust, but he was met with the sight of a cardboard box.

Louis placed Milky back onto the floor to free his hands and lowered himself to the floor, stretching his arms out and pulling the box out. Milky was sitting beside him and started sniffing and nudging at the box with her nose, and Louis was afraid she would lick it and get the box wet so he gently pushed her face away from the box. "That's not for you, Milky."

Milky whined sadly and settled her head between her paws, looking at the box longingly. Was there candy in there or something? Was this Harry's secret candy stash? Louis had never remembered Harry having a secret candy stash, but if the candy inside was so precious that Harry hid it under a bed, he wanted to have a look.

The box itself was nothing special, just a plain, beige shoebox. It didn't feel particularly heavy, either, and Louis settled it onto his lap. Milky sat up again and nudged the box a little, asking Louis to open it. "I don't recall you liking candy, Milky," Louis said, giving her a few pets. "Or maybe Harry keeps a secret stash of beef jerky under his bed. Let's find out, yeah?"

Louis wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting to find, but when he opened the box he didn't see neither candy nor beef jerky. Instead, he was met with the sight of a stack of photos, a bundle of letters, and a small, black box inside the shoebox.

Intrigued, Louis picked up one of the pictures. There was writing on the back - a short, simple sentence in Harry's handwriting. It simply said, _I miss you, Louis_ written in black marker. Louis flipped it over and his breath hitched when he saw it was a photo of him, taken before their breakup, of him curled up in bed shirtless, fast asleep with golden rays of sunlight streaming down on his face.

The next picture Louis picked up was a picture of them holding hands in the grocery store. Louis remembered the day the picture had been taken - they'd gone grocery shopping hand in hand when Harry had suddenly whipped out his camera and insisted on taking a picture of their entwined hands. Louis recognized an old pair of his Vans and Harry's Chelsea boots below their hands, huffing a little at how small his feet looked next to Harry's. On the back of the photo was another message, saying, _Your hands used to fit so well with mine, like you were made for me. I'm sorry you had to let me go._

Louis felt tears well up in his eyes as he picked up another photo, this time a candid of him drinking tea in the kitchen in nothing but a sweater, boxers, and socks. The message on the back was longer this time, reading, _I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry I hurt you, I never meant to but it's all I seem to be able to do. You were always the angel of perfection to my chaos and I'm sorry. You are so beautiful and I wish you could have been mine forever._ It sent shivers down Louis' spine. There were a few more pictures of Louis but Louis ignored them for the letters, which he felt a little guilty to open, but they were all addressed to him. They all had different dates on them, too, and Louis took a random one out and unfolded it gingerly, eyes, scanning over the paper.

_Dear Louis,_

_Today marks four months since you broke up with me, four months since we had the worst fight of our relationship and you stormed out of the door and never looked back. It's been a really rocky road without you, the house seems so empty without you and I miss you so much. I keep coming home and thinking you'll be there waiting for me, but you never are._

_I sent all of your things back a while ago, I hope you didn't notice I took a few of your sweaters. They smell so much like you and remind me of you and I couldn't bear to part with them. I'll never tell anyone this, but sometimes I wear your sweaters to try to remember what it was like to have your arms around me._

_I've been sober for a few weeks now and I came home thinking you'd be there to celebrate with me, and that you'd tell me how proud you are of me. I miss you saying you're proud of me. I miss everything about you, I even miss the fact that you leave dirty socks everywhere. If you only came back to me, I'd pick up all the dirty socks you want._

_I went to get some photos developed today, and so many of them are of you. Do you know how many pictures I have of you? I don't even know myself - hundreds, thousands, maybe. I don't know why I went to get them developed, I don't even know if seeing so many pictures of you is making me feel better or worse. But you're beautiful and I love looking at you, even if it's tearing me apart._

_I miss you so much, Lou, so, so much. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you and I know you're better of without me but I wish you'd come back. I think I'd be okay with anything as long as you were with me. Niall, Liam and Zayn won't tell me anything about how you're doing, they didn't even let me know your address. I had to give Zayn all of your things, and have him mail it for me. I know they're just worried about me, but I wish they'd tell me how you're doing. I hope you're alright, I hope you're coping better than I am, I hope you're happier now._

Louis felt his heart clench, feeling guilty for leaving Harry alone to deal with his problems and not staying behind to help him. His cheeks flushed a little at being called beautiful by Harry, but he had to remind himself that this letter had been written three years ago and Harry had moved on now. Right?

Curiosity getting the better of him, he folded the letter back up and rifled through the stack of letters, seeing letters that were dated to just a few days ago. Swallowing nervously, Louis abandoned the earlier letters for the most recent ones, unfolding one that said,

_Dear Louis,_

_I saw you for the first time in three years today, at Niall's party. I know he and the boys make sure we're never at the same party, so they must have slipped up somehow, but I'm really glad they slipped up._

_You looked so beautiful tonight, you must have come from work because you were still in your suit but you looked so good, even more handsome than I remember. How do you look so perfect? I thought I was going to stop breathing when I saw you, it's been so many years but you still take my breath away._

_I really wanted to come talk to you, it's been three years. Three years, Lou, and I miss you so much. I want to know how you're doing, how your family's doing, and if you've gotten promoted yet, because I'm sure you have. I wanted so bad to come up to you and talk to you like you didn't leave me and like we never stopped talking in these past three years, but of course I couldn't. There were people around you at every second and it was terrifying._

_You left the party early and I panicked, I tried to call your name but I guess you didn't hear me because you just kept walking._ _I hate myself for missing the one opportunity I had to have you again, but what if you didn't want to talk to me? I wouldn't be able to bear it._

_Just when I thought that maybe I could move on from you, you show up. Why, Louis? Why do you have to do this to me? I know I'll probably never see you again, but I can't stop thinking about you. You must have moved on from me already, but I love you, Louis. I don't think I could love anyone who isn't you. I still love you, Lou, I never stopped and I wish I could tell you._

Louis gasped as he read the last line, feeling his heart flutter. Harry hadn't moved on? Harry still loved him? His fingers trembled and he instantly felt like he couldn't breath, throat constricting, and he felt cold all of a sudden. His eyes fell on the small, black box and he picked it up, feeling like he knew exactly what was inside and not sure if he was ready to face it.

His entire body tremored as he slowly opened the black box, breathing deeply when he was met with the sight of a beautiful, silver ring.

Before he could even process everything, he heard footsteps approaching and a familiar, deep voice called, "Lou? Where'd you go?"

Louis wondered if he had time to put the ring box back in the shoebox and shove the box under Harry's bed, but before the idea fully formed in his head, a figure appeared in the doorway. Feeling like a deer in headlights, Louis looked shakily up at Harry, whose eyes widened and face paled.

"Oh. You found it."

*****

It was 9:01pm when both Harry and Louis were sitting awkwardly on the couch.

After Harry had discovered him in his room, he'd simply gestured for Louis to come outside to talk, and now they were sitting on the couch in an uncomfortable silence. Louis didn't know how to feel anymore. He should be feeling happy - after all, he'd just found out that Harry still loved him, and that meant they could get back together, right? But now he felt scared and nauseous, playing with his fingers and trying not to look at Harry. Milky was curled up on the floor between them, watching them both with big eyes.

The euphoria from reading the letters was slowly wearing off and the doubt was setting in. Maybe Harry hadn't meant anything he'd written. Maybe it was all an elaborate prank. Maybe it wasn't a prank, but Harry had just been confused about his feelings and he didn't actually love Louis. After all, he had a girlfriend, didn't he? Where else would the lipstick stain come from? Louis had just been too eager to believe what he wanted to believe, and he was stupid for thinking that Harry would still love him, and—

"Lou?" Louis flinched a little and turned to look at Harry, bracing himself for the truth. Harry's terrified expression matched Louis' as he said, "I still love you."

Louis' breath hitched, another wave of complicated emotions slamming into him. "W-what?"

Harry looked down at his hands. "I still love you. You read my letters, so I guess you know already, but I just thought I'd let you know."

There was another period of silence as Louis tried to work everything out. He was so confused. "You what?"

Harry sighed. "Louis, I know you heard me."

"I - but - you can't." Harry looked so sad and upset it crushed Louis' heart.

"Lou, I started loving you from the first time I met you in uni and I never stopped. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"D-don't you have a girlfriend?" Louis stuttered.

Harry blinked. "What?"

"Don't you?"

"No! I don't have a girlfriend!" Harry spluttered. "Why would you even think that? I can't even get over you, much less give my love to someone else."

Louis curled up on himself, feeling giddy at Harry's last line, but confused nonetheless. "But - the lipstick stain on your jacket."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "What lipstick stain?"

"When I was putting stain remover on your clothes the day I spilled coffee all over you, there was a lipstick stain on your jacket," Louis explained. "Where else would a lipstick stain on your jacket come from, if not from a girlfriend?"

"Louis, I don't _have_ a girlfriend," Harry insisted. "I promise, I would know. I don't remember where that lipstick stain came from, but it was not from my girlfriend because I don't have one."

"Oh." Louis felt a little flustered. "S-so you're single?"

"I have been for the past three years," Harry said shyly. "Look, Lou, I'm sorry if this makes things awkward between us. I know you had something going on with Lucas, and even if you didn't you probably moved on ages ago. This is so pointless, but you found the letters, and I thought I should clear things up."

"I told you, there isn't anything going on between me and Lucas." Louis looked away from Harry's gaze. "We stopped seeing each other romantically."

"I remember." Louis could hear the hint of joy in Harry's tone and it made him smile a little. "Why?"

"Because..." Louis suddenly felt really hot, fidgeting around in his seat. "Because, well, I figured out I still love you too."

"What?!" There were a lot of "What?"s being thrown around, but Louis was glad they were finally getting everything out in the open.

"I still love you, Haz," Louis said quietly, slipping back into the use of the nickname. "I've been trying to move on for so long, but I couldn't, and I thought that it was because I was too used to dating you and I could love someone else if I really tried. Then you texted me and said you were jealous of Lucas, and I guess that just made me realize that I still loved you. I don't think I ever stopped."

Harry was silent and fear seized Louis' heart. He'd just confessed some of his most intimate, personal feelings and now he was terrified he'd made a big mistake by doing so. He looked back at Harry slowly, reaching out to tug on Harry's sleeve. "Harry? Please say something, please—"

Harry's answer wasn't in words - instead, he surged forward and connected their lips. It caught Louis off guard and he nearly fell over, but he managed to keep himself mostly upright, offering no resistance as he felt Harry's lips moving against his own. His heart was beating erratically but he felt safe at the same time, the familiarity and gentleness of kissing Harry soothing him.

When Harry finally pulled away, Louis' cheeks were flaming and his eyes were blown wide open. Harry was blushing too, pulling back shyly. "Sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Feeling brave, Louis scooted a little closer to Harry.

"That was uncalled for," Harry mumbled. "I just - just got excited, I guess. You've no idea how many times I've daydreamed about you saying you still love me."

"Yeah?" Louis could feel Harry's shaky breaths.

"Sorry for the kiss," Harry said, looking in his lap. "You were talking and I just ruined it, didn't I?"

"You didn't ruin anything, Haz. I liked the kiss."

"You did?" Harry looked up at Louis with such delight in his eyes that it made Louis' heart clench. He had missed this so much, being so close to Harry and Harry looking at him with so much love and devotion, and without thinking Louis leaned forward and connected their lips again. He noted how Harry still tasted exactly the same, like mint toothpaste with a hint of chocolate. It was Louis' favorite taste in the whole world.

Louis pulled away after a while and they were both breathing heavily, cheeks even hotter now. "Yeah, I liked the kiss," Louis finally replied.

"Does this mean -" Harry's voice was a little croaky and he cleared his throat, looking at Louis with eyes full of hope. "Does this mean you're willing to try again? You know, give _us_ a chance?"

Louis froze. Getting back together and being with Harry was all he really wanted, but the doubt and insecurities at the back of his mind were gushing forward. What if they started fighting again? Louis could still remember some of the insults they'd thrown around, and how much they'd hurt him and the times he'd stayed awake at night crying over them. He didn't think he could handle breaking up with Harry another time - it would completely, utterly crush him. He wouldn't be able to bear that sort of pain. Louis knew he was overthinking things, but the insurmountable amount of what-ifs were crawling around in his brain and hindering him from being able to grasp onto what truly mattered to him. He took one look at the faltering hope in Harry's face, though, and suddenly it became clear to him. "Yeah, of course I'm willing to try. Given the chance, I'd give us all the chances."

A huge smile spread over Harry's face and Louis felt his insides turn to mush, unable to stop an equally wide grin from forming on his face. Harry held his arms out and Louis immediately fell into him, resting his head on Harry's chest and letting warm bands of muscle wrap around him and hold him close. Milky, feeling a little left out and wanting to get in on all of the cuddly action, barked and placed her paws on the couch, still too small to get up on it by herself.

Louis giggled and left Harry's embrace for a few seconds to pick Milky up and settle her in the middle of their cuddle, cooing softly when Milky set her head between her paws and lay down. "Aw, she's tired."

"She's tired so early?"

"You probably tired her out from all that fetch with your sock."

"We didn't play that much, did we?"

"She's a puppy, Hazza, she sleeps a lot anyway." Louis stroked the top of Milky's head and his heart melted when Milky snuggled into his hand, sleepily licking at his palm. "I've had her for a while and I still can't get over how cute she is."

"I could say the same thing about you." Louis' cheeks flushed pink and Harry winked at him, making Louis shove him playfully.

"Shut it, H."

"Can't, love. Now that I have you, I'm not going to stop gushing about you, you'll have to accept it." Harry roped an arm around Louis' waist and tugged him a little closer. "Who can blame me, though?"

"Hmph." Louis pouted and Harry leaned forward to peck his pout, effectively making Louis' eyes crinkle as he beamed. Milky got up a little and crawled onto Harry's chest, curling up on top of the curly-haired man. "Look, she loves you."

"Of course she does, who wouldn't love me?" Harry scratched behind Milky's ears, and the puppy yawned.

Louis lay back down on top of Harry again, tucking himself under Harry's chin and letting Harry entwine their fingers. "She doesn't love you more than I love you, though."

"I would hope so." Harry dropped a kiss into Louis' hair and squeezed Louis' hand. "Although, I doubt you love me more than I love you."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Haz, we just got back together. Are you seriously going to start the 'I love you more' fight so soon?"

"You bet I am. I've got to establish my dominance in this battle early on, you know. So, just saying, but... I love you more."

Louis scoffed. "No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. I've loved you for eight years, and you've only loved me for five, since before your date with Lucas you thought you didn't love me -"

"Harry!"

"Too soon?"

"Too soon."

"Okay, sorry about that." Harry maneuvered himself a bit to kiss Louis on the cheek. "You know I didn't mean that, right? I was just joking."

"Mhmm, I know." Louis cuddled closer to Harry. "Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"There was a ring in your box."

"Yeah."

"Was it for what I think it was for?"

Harry cleared his throat, straightening up so Louis sat up too, facing Harry. Milky whined at the movement and burrowed into Louis' lap, closing her eyes as Harry said, "If you think it was for proposing to you, then yeah."

Louis' heart skipped a beat. "Y-you were going to propose?"

Harry ran a hand through his curls. "Yeah. We had been dating for five years and I loved you so much, I knew you were it for me and we were both ready for it. Don't you remember us talking about marriage?"

"Yeah, but it would have still been a big shock to me," Louis murmured. "It's still a big shock to me right now."

"I did want it to be a really big surprise," Harry admitted. "I bought the ring a few months before we, uh, broke up. I didn't have a big concrete plan or anything, but I had a lot of ideas and I was starting to plan it out, then, you know... things happened."

"Oh." Louis tried to imagine what things would have been like if they hadn't broken up. They would've been married for a year or two now, they probably would've gotten a dog together, they would be _happy_. 

"I want to ask you a question." Harry averted Louis' gaze. "Would you have said yes? I mean - not to put pressure on you or anything, not what your answer is _now_ , but what your answer would have been back then. Would you have said yes if I proposed to you three years ago?"

"Of course!" Louis' answer was immediate. "Of course I would have said yes. I knew you were it for me too, Harold. You _are_ it for me."

Harry's eyes softened and he held his arms out again, allowing the pair to return to their previous cuddling position. Louis could hear Harry's heartbeat and the familiar thrum calmed him, making him feel warm and protected. He was where he belonged - tucked in Harry's embrace. After a while of silence, Harry asked, "How'd you find the box anyway? Were you looking under my bed or something? And why were you snooping around under my bed?"

"I wasn't!" Louis protested. "Okay, yeah, I kinda did, but not in a creepy way. Milky was sniffing at something under your bed and I wanted to see what was so interesting to her, so I had a look."

"Oh, so Milky's my little savior, then!" Harry looked down at the little puppy, who blinked drowsily back at him. "Why was she so interested in the box?"

"I dunno. She was so excited about it, I thought you had a hidden stash of beef jerky in there or something," Louis said, holding back a snicker. "I found my old sweaters in your closet, by the way."

Harry looked embarrassed. "Did you notice that I kept them?"

Louis nodded. "Yeah. I guess I didn't really care at that point, though."

"Mm. Is it creepy that I kept them?"

"Just a little."

"Hey!" Harry pretended to be offended. "You're supposed to say something nice, like 'no'."

"No, it isn't creepy that you stole some of my sweaters and kept them in your closet for three years to remind you of me. Not creepy at all, Hazzie."

Harry squinted at him and sighed. "I give up, you're an absolute menace."

Louis tilted his head up to look at Harry. "I missed you too."

Harry huffed out a laugh and leaned down to gently kiss Louis' forehead, his warm, cozy smell wrapping around Louis. "I missed you too, Lou. More than you know."

It was 9:28pm, and Louis was finally home.

*****

It was 9:17am, and Louis was cuddled up in bed with his favorite person.

It was winter and he got cold easily, so he was tucked under the blankets and snuggling close to Harry for warmth. The morning light was filtering through the curtains and his boyfriend was already awake, nuzzling Louis' neck and placing random, soft kisses all over his body.

Louis' eyes fluttered open and although he loved kisses, he shied away from the feeling of Harry's lips. "Hazzie... no... stop it. _Tickles._ "

Harry huffed. "I'm trying to be romantic, Lou."

"Well, romance is _tickling_ me." Louis pushed Harry away but immediately burrowed back into Harry's chest, missing the much needed warmth of his boyfriend. "No, come back, 'm cold."

Harry laughed and wrapped his arms back around Louis, playing with the smaller boy's hair. "Come on, we need to get up."

"No we don't." Louis was feeling sleepy again already, prepared to sleep for longer. "What time is it?"

"Like a quarter past nine or something. We need to go take Milky on her morning walk."

"You take her, I'm sleepy," Louis mumbled into his pillow.

"Babe, come on. Come with me? We can get hot chocolate together and walk in the park," Harry suggested, placing a few quick kisses onto Louis' cheek to add to his argument. "Please? It'll be nice."

"It's cold outside," Louis complained. "I wanna stay in here where I've got the heater."

"We just got you that new winter jacket last weekend, today's your chance to try it out. Plus, I'll give you all the cuddles you want to warm you up when we come back home." Harry traced a few shapes onto an exposed part of Louis' belly and he squirmed away from Harry's touch.

"Okay, fine, I'll come with."

"Yay!" Harry clapped his hands and let go of Louis to look down at Milky, who was curled up on her little bed on the floor. "Hear that, Milky? Lou's coming on our walk with us!" Milky sat up and barked in response, set off by Harry's excited tone.

"Shut up, you." Louis placed his small hands over his ears. "You're both too loud in the mornings. And I _always_ walk Milky, what are you talking about?"

"Sorry, Lou." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and squeezed him tightly, before letting go of him again and sitting up. "Come on, let's go get ready."

"I wanna sleep a little longer." Louis whined sadly at the loss of Harry's warmth and rolled over to hug Harry's pillow as a replacement. "Wake me up in a bit."

Harry got out of bed and tucked Louis in more so the latter wouldn't get cold, and bent down to press one last kiss to Louis' temple before he went to get ready. "Okay, love you."

Louis murmured an unintelligible _Love you too_ back and snuggled up with Harry's pillow, breathing in his scent. It had been eight months since they'd got back together, and they'd picked off where they'd left their relationship three years ago, being impossibly cute and cuddly and loved up, like they always had been. At the beginning , they'd promised to take it slow, but neither were good at taking things slow, especially when it came to the love of their lives. Within a few months, they'd reverted back to their old life, with Louis moving back into their apartment with Milky, whose full name was now Milk Tea Tomlinson-Styles.

Harry's box was still kept under their bed to keep it hidden from any visitors - it was still so personal and intimate and Harry didn't want to share it with anyone but Louis. Louis went through the entire box and read all of the letters and messages written on the back of the pictures, which earned Harry a lot of love, affection and kisses because Louis melted at every word Harry had written. 

The black ring box was still kept in the shoebox, and on this particular day it wasn't there anymore, but Louis didn't notice.

Harry woke Louis up ten minutes later, much to the smaller boy's annoyance. It took a lot of coaxing and kisses until Louis finally got out of bed and went to get ready, and by the time they left their front door it was almost ten o' clock. Louis donned his new winter jacket and put on some mittens to keep his hands from getting too cold while Harry put Milky's leash on. The puppy was much bigger now, but still as adorable and cuddly as she always was.

They left the apartment holding hands, and on the way to the park stopped by a café to get some hot chocolate as Harry had suggested.

"It's so cold," Louis said, leaning into Harry for warmth as they waited for the barista to make their hot chocolate.

"It's winter in New York, Lou, of course it's going to be cold." Harry let Louis press his cold nose into Harry's neck, stopping himself from flinching. "The hot chocolate will warm you up, just wait."

"Mm, I hope so." The barista finished making their chocolate and slid it over the counter. Louis let go of Harry and reached out to grab the paper cup, sighing in relief as he warmed his hands on the hot beverage and sipped on the chocolate.

"Better?" Harry asked, reaching out to grab his own cup.

"Much better."

They were leaving the café when Louis suddenly stopped walking. Harry looked over at him worriedly, trying to identify the problem. "What's wrong?"

"I can't hold your hand right now," Louis said, pouting. He had his hot chocolate in one hand and Milky's leash in the other, and he didn't have a third hand to entwine with Harry's.

Harry chuckled. "Boo, that's hardly a reason for you to be so upset. C'mere, love." He wrapped his arm around Louis' waist and tugged him close, pressing a kiss to Louis' cheek. "There we go."

"Okay, good." They started walking again and Louis leaned slightly into Harry. He knew he was being needy and clingy but who could blame him for wanting attention and affection from Harry?

They made it to the park and Louis let Milky off her leash and let her run free for a bit, since there weren't a lot of people, save a few runners, in the park. "You look cute in that winter jacket, pudgy snowman," Harry teased as they stood under a tree and drank their hot chocolate.

Louis _hmph_ 'ed. "You picked out this jacket for me."

"Exactly, I picked this one because it's warm plus you look super cute in puffy jackets," Harry winked. "I want to push you over so bad right now and see if you can get up in that puffy jacket."

"I hate you," Louis grumbled. Even though he looked a tad ridiculous, he had to admit the jacket kept him warm and Harry had done a good job at picking it out.

"Nah, you love me." Harry finished the last few drops of his hot chocolate and walked away to throw the paper cup into the nearest trash can.

Louis wrinkled his nose. "You sure about that?"

"Of course I am." Harry walked back to Louis and beamed winningly. "You love me, don't you?"

Louis sighed. "Alright, yeah, I guess I do."

"You _guess_ you love me?" Harry pinched Louis' side, which was a little difficult considering how puffy Louis' jacket was, but he still managed it.

Louis squealed and jumped away from Harry, sloshing some of his hot chocolate onto the ground in the process. "Hey! Hazzie!"

"Oopsie." Harry covered his mouth. "Sorry, baby."

"I don't like you anymore." Louis looked down on himself to see if he'd gotten any hot chocolate on his jacket. 

"I still like you, fortunately," Harry said, raking his eyes up and down Louis to help him check for hot chocolate spills. "You didn't get any on your jacket, Lou, it's alright."

"If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it," Louis sang, giggling slightly. He and Harry had always been able to talk and joke about marriage easily, even now. Harry would usually joke along, but this time he paled a little and changed the subject.

"Are you having dinner with Jamie next week? You said he was back in town again."

"Mhmm, he is." Louis slipped his mittened hand into Harry's. "The last time he was back, I was so concerned with you and Lucas that I sort of forgot to have dinner with him, so I'm making up for that."

"Where are you guys gonna eat? You can come to _The Lonely Fish_ if you want, then I can say hi to Jamie too."

"We can if you want to, Haz." Louis shrugged. "To be honest, neither of us really mind. I'll figure it out with him later."

"I can make sure you guys get the best seat in the house," Harry said, playing with Louis' fingers absentmindedly. 

"That would be nice, babe, but you don't need to." Louis held his hot chocolate up to his lips, watching Milky run around in the snow with her mouth hanging wide open, unable to control his heart melting at how cute she looked. "We're just two friends having dinner, it doesn't have to be fancy, not like I'm going on a date with him or anything."

Harry's face immediately darkened and he squeezed Louis' hand a little tighter. "You better not be."

Louis smirked and nudged Harry. "You are _so_ jelly right now."

"I am not jelly!" Harry insisted, but it was obviously a lie. "Just... you know... don't want my boyfriend dating anyone else."

Louis scrunched his nose up, trying to hide his fondness. "You're so cute." Before Harry could protest, Milky came running back to them with a mouthful of sticks in her mouth, setting them down at their feet and looking up at her owners with big eyes.

Both of them squatted down and Harry picked up a stick gingerly. "Hey, Milky. Is this for us?"

Milky barked in affirmation and Louis reached out to pet her soft fur, brushing some of the snow off her fur coat. "Aw, thank you! You're such a good girl," Louis cooed, reaching into his pocket for a treat. "Good girl, Milky!"

By the end of their walk, Milky had managed to work off most of her morning energy, and instead of bounding around the park, she was patiently waddling along next to Harry and Louis, occasionally stopping to sniff at the grass. Louis had long finished his hot chocolate, and he and Harry were walking around the park hand in hand, chatting idly about everything and anything.

Louis was getting sleepy again, burrowing into Harry's side as his eyelids got droopy and his footsteps heavy. Harry watched him fondly with a soft smile, loving how adorable Louis got when he was sleepy. He led them over to a part of the park that was a little more emtpy, and stopped walking.

"Can we go home now?" Louis asked, covering his mouth with a tiny hand as he yawned.

"We can go home soon, little one. I've just got, um, one more thing to do."

"Oh, okay." Louis rubbed his eyes. "Is it buying more of Milky's kibble? Because I did that yesterday—"

"No, it's-it's this." Harry took a deep, shaky breath and pulled out a familiar black box from his pocket, getting down on one knee.

Louis' eyes widened and he perked up immediately, taking an automatic step back in shock. His sleepiness seeped out of him and he froze when Harry opened up the black box, revealing a beautiful, silver band inside. "H-Hazzie..."

"Louis, um..." Harry cleared his throat, clearly nervous. "I-I know it's only been less than a year since we got back together, but it's been the happiest I've been in a long time, and I know it's been the same for you too. Louis, you're everything to me, you always make me smile and you have no idea how much I love you—" Harry sobbed a little but soldiered on. "You've done so much for me, boo, you've been my anchor ever since I met you almost ten years ago and it killed me when you left. I missed you _so_ much when we were apart and now that I have you back, I never want to let you go, because you and me is all I've ever known. I don't want to be without you ever again, Lou. So, Louis William Tomlinson, will you marry me?"

Louis could subconsciously feel warm, hot tears stream down his face and he nodded wordlessly, before choking out, "Y-yes. Of course I'll marry you, Harry!"

Harry breathed a sigh of relief and stood up, taking off Louis' mittens to slide the ring onto Louis' ring finger, where it belonged. Louis couldn't even describe the torrent of emotions that hit him, throwing himself at Harry and uncontrollably crying and smiling into Harry's neck at the same time, feeling Harry's arms wrap around him and hold him close.

Louis had no idea what time it was. All he knew was that he had his home in his arms, and that he loved his boy so, so, _so_ much, he couldn't even put it into words.

*****

_isn't it strange?  
_ _how people can change  
_ _from strangers to friends  
_ _friends into lovers_  
and strangers again  
_\- celeste_

**Author's Note:**

> honest feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated! hope you enjoyed this story :)
> 
> come say hello on [tumblr](https://meredithflynn28.tumblr.com/)! you're welcome to send fic requests or ask any questions!


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